Gigi's Blog

When we were at Meagan’s college orientation a few weeks back I cut my leg shaving.  Well, it’s more than I just cut my leg shaving; it’s I took a huge chunk of skin off, the total of about 2 ½ inches.  Hard to believe I know.  I was so tired and I guess not paying attention.  As soon as I did it though, I knew it.  It hurt very badly for days.  Last week at M-Fuge there were several days when red was sort of making a line around it.  You know like it does when it’s infected.  I started a sort of regimen consisting mostly of hydrogen peroxide.  Megan told me to scrape it and then clean it. EEEWWWW.  Nobody could believe I had done it by shaving.  It’s finally not raw.  Wed. night at church Megan said “Gina, you need to get some scar cream so the scar will go away.”  I joked back “Are you kidding me? I’m proud of this thing.”

You know my life is so scarred.  Scarred is many ways.  Scars in different stages of healing.  Some scars are old and sort of toughened back up. Some scars are to a point that they are definitely healing.  Some scars just barely have skin on them enough if they get emotionally bumped, they open back up again.  But the tendency for so many of us is to make sure that our scars stay well hidden so no one even knows we even have any. 

Why do any of us hide our physical scars?  Embarrassment.  Let’s put it on a personal level-me.  I spend quite a lot of time apply loads of make-up. I have always had problems with spells of acne. Finding pants that cover my, well let’s say extra skin, but that I can still breathe in.  I cover my gray.  I limp sometimes because I have tumors in my left foot; which is the same foot that I broke my heel into my ankle bone.  I try so hard to walk without that limp, because it’s humiliating.  It’s not that I want to look perfect; it’s that I’m embarrassed when I think a person is focusing on my flaws instead of me as a person. 

So a lot of us do the same thing with our emotional scarring.  We cover it up with pretend smiles of perfection. We tire ourselves to the point of exhaustion to try to keep the lid on our past.   We have selective amnesia about our past because we just want people to see who we are today.  What will people think if they knew about…………….????   I think this is wrong.  When we allow people to see our scar(s) from the past, and they see that it’s all better now, and that we survived it, it gives them hope.  They know that they have a person they can go to for encouragement that really does understand.  Maybe you’re scar is still very sensitive.  If we allow a person to see that place in us, maybe it would encourage them to take that first step.  I’m tired of the game.  I’m not playing it anymore.  If you want perfection, look at God-not me.

If God wanted us to cover our scars, why were Jesus’ still in His hands??????

John 20:27Then he focused his attention on Thomas. "Take your finger and examine my hands. Take your hand and stick it in my side. Don't be unbelieving. Believe." 28Thomas said, "My Master! My God!"

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