Gigi's Blog

Well, it happened.  I've been doing pretty good lately about getting to work on time.  I mean I run in the door at 8:00 literally on the dot-but trust me, for me-that's on time and it ain't gettin' no better than that.  This morning I was late, and caught.  Mark woke me in plenty of time.  But I just sat up in the bed and didn't move.  I'm tired ok, I'm tired.  I got up and got going, and got Chloe up and got her going, but everything was late.  But I wasn't yelling or getting upset, and I'm actually glad I didn't.  I left my house at 7:48, which isn't good.    I got to the exit off I-85 at 8:00.  Then when I got to rail-road track, they were doing some type of work on it, which was probably about a minute or so before I could cross the track.  I passed Mark F. and waved, but I wasn't being sarcastic, I was just waving.  I got here at 8:07.  The phone rang a few minutes later-it was Mark F.  He wasn't calling to get onto me, he was calling to speak with someone, but I "went there" so he did too.  He made a comment asking me if I'd finally arrived, and I snapped back "I waved at you.  I wasn't trying to hide that I was late."  He told me that he sort of understood me being late, being when you have kids, things happen,  but being late on a regular basis he said was a total lack of respect.  Woa!  That HURT.  I feel like I don't have a leg to stand on.  The Bible says for me to respect those that are my employers, and not just when they're looking.  I know that, I want to do that.  I feel like in my heart I do, do that.  I'm trying.  I told him that I'd really been trying to do better about being to work on time, and I was sorry.  He accepted my aplology.  The thoughts start pouring through my head as I sit here feeling like I'm gonna cry "I can't do this.  I can't do this.  I can't do this."  I start thinking "I'm gonna quit something, I've got to. Something's gotta give." I am working at a Christian company (well, I mean owned by a Christian) that I have the freedom to publically read my Bible, and attend Monday morning Bible devotions and the freedom to rejoice in Christ.  So I want to get a grip here.  But I'm hurting because I feel overwhelmed by this day and in this moment. 

Are you in a situation like me today?  Feeling completely misunderstood and sort of struggling to hope?  MMMM......I wonder who's behind all this?  We aren't struggling really with us.  We are struggling with the forces beyond what we can see. Powers and principalities are in a war for every moment of my day, and yours.  To trip us up.  To cause us to feel offended, or whatever.  But Proverbs 13:6a says "A God-loyal life keeps you on track."  I'm struggling to find out what that means exactly and praying God will help me to do it.

You pray for me, and I'll pray for you-ok? 

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