Gigi's Blog

You may have heard this before, I may have even blogged it before, but please allow me the guilty pleasure of reopening the deepest wound ever created by barbecue.

It was Valentine's day 1998.  Mine and Mark's first Valentine's as a married couple, and we were going out.  The morning is a blur. (I guess I've blocked so much of it out) The kids weren't at home, and my wheels of romance were spinning, and I knew Mark's were too.  We found out later, they were spinning ini different directions.  I remember I had picked up a copy of a monthly publication that had events in the Charlotte/Gastonia area.  I can't remember everything, but I recall things like poetry readings, dinner/play meals, symphony concerts, and things like that.  Perfect!!!  I knew that he probably was thinking the same thing, so we'd just spur of the moment decide on something together and it would be great.  I had made my mom and his parents some brownies and gotten a card, or a candle or something, I can't remember exactly, and took that over.   I went back home to get ready for our date and give Mark his gift.  He was going to LOVE his gift and I knew it.  I couldn't wait.  I had gotten him a massage. I went home, and he giggled and told me he was gonna like what I'd got him.  Huh?  How did he know?  He didn't know.  He was lying.  I just knew there was no way.  I mean, how?  Well, when he told me he in fact did know, 'cause he told me what it was, I couldn't believe it.  His boss went to the same place, and had somehow saw the gift certificate copy and had told him.  I was FURIOUS.  .  This was a preview of things to come.  Well, I simply couldn't be without a surprise for my husband.   I mean, he would die (I thought).  So, I rushed to Belk's and found some pair of jeans, and got them, because now it had become a competition, I had to have a surprise.  So, I gave him his gift, and he gave me mine, and then it happened.  The dinner discussion.  It went something like this. 

Him- "Where do you want to go?" Me- "I don't know, where do you want to go?"eyes batting with a sheepish grin.  Him-Well there's the barbecue place in Hickory. It's like a barn. Dirt floor.  People clog, and you drink out of mason jars." Me-Barbecue?????Barbecue??!!!  BARBECUE!!!!!!!!?

I could not believe him.  I mean, what in the world?  Didn't he know that I wanted to go eat at a place we couldn't afford with rude people and small servings of food!?  Didn't he want the same thing?  Were we that different?  

We ended up going to a place in Bessemer City-MaKel's.  We barely spoke to each other the entire night, and then these people right next to us got engaged and everyone was clapping and cheering.  Mark said "I hate it when people do stuff like that in public."  Figures.  We went home and I said "I'm tired.  I'm going to bed."  and I did. 

That was 10 yeears ago today, and you can't imagine how we laugh at the story now.  Maybe you've experienced something like that in your own relationship. 

You know what part of my problem was?  I had put every need in my life on the shoulders of Mark.  I believed that my husband could be my everything.   But he couldn't then, he can't now and he never will be.  What do I mean?  Mark is not God, and he doesn't want that role, he never did.  This is why relationships between husbands and wives struggle, friends, parents and children, and on and on.  There's a God-shpaed need that is only met by God through a relationship with Him.  Everything could seem right, and yet something still feel wrong when you're not sold out and moving in the direction of Christ.  You've got to be in love with Him for any other love to work.  To really work. 

So, I hope today is the best Valentine's you've ever had as we both realize the love of Christ. 

 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=I%20corinthians%2013;&version=65;

If you're wondering about our gifts this year, Mark gave me some perfume and a gift card to Burger King (which is my favorite place to get coffee).Mark's gift....................I shaved.

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