Gigi's Blog

Today is awards day at Chloe's school.  And just so you'll know, she's improperly dressed.  She has on a short sleeve (gasp) shirt.  She only has a few long sleeved shirts, and didn't like any.  I told her she could wear her school shirt, but she didn't like that.  So she picked out a shirt and some jeans and I said "ok".  Please oh please don't tell Nanny Vickie.  Awards start at 1:30, which may prevent her from attending because of soemthing or other at her work.  So, I may get by with this.  Meagn needs me to pick up some pictures for her at WalMart and wants me to bring them to her school.  Don't know yet if I can pull that one off.  Just have to see.  I have no socks.  The only socks I ever have are the white ones in the multi-pack.  So, if I need something thin or dress socks, I always go through Meagan or Chloe's and "borrow" their seasonal socks.  So, my socks today are Chloe's Easter bunny socks.  No.  I'm not kidding.  Yesterday they were Chloe's Ked socks that didn't even match.  No.  I'm not kidding.

LIfe is so crazy sometimes isn't it?  So stressed.  Sometimes it's unfair.  Do you ever tell God how you really feel?  I mean he knows anyway, right?  When your circumstances aren't right, or what you want, if you follow Christ, don't you know that He can change them?  We often blame others for what God is in full control of.  I read Psalm 88 this morning, and said "wow!"  

Psalm 88

 1-9 God, you're my last chance of the day. I spend the night on my knees before you.
   Put me on your salvation agenda;
      take notes on the trouble I'm in.
   I've had my fill of trouble;
      I'm camped on the edge of hell.
   I'm written off as a lost cause,
      one more statistic, a hopeless case.
   Abandoned as already dead,
      one more body in a stack of corpses,
   And not so much as a gravestone—
      I'm a black hole in oblivion.
   You've dropped me into a bottomless pit,
      sunk me in a pitch-black abyss.
   I'm battered senseless by your rage,
      relentlessly pounded by your waves of anger.
   You turned my friends against me,
      made me horrible to them.
   I'm caught in a maze and can't find my way out,
      blinded by tears of pain and frustration.

 9-12 I call to you, God; all day I call.
      I wring my hands, I plead for help.
   Are the dead a live audience for your miracles?
      Do ghosts ever join the choirs that praise you?
   Does your love make any difference in a graveyard?
      Is your faithful presence noticed in the corridors of hell?
   Are your marvelous wonders ever seen in the dark,
      your righteous ways noticed in the Land of No Memory?

 13-18 I'm standing my ground, God, shouting for help,
      at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak.
   Why, God, do you turn a deaf ear?
      Why do you make yourself scarce?
   For as long as I remember I've been hurting;
      I've taken the worst you can hand out, and I've had it.
   Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life;
      I'm bleeding, black-and-blue.
   You've attacked me fiercely from every side,
      raining down blows till I'm nearly dead.
   You made lover and neighbor alike dump me;
      the only friend I have left is Darkness.

I love that last line:  the only friend I have left is Darkness. 

We all have seasons of darkness.  Often times people who don't go through or have forgotten about going through tell you to get over it on your own.  But I know better, and you should too. 

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