Gigi's Blog

Well, I'm about to tell you a factual story that has transpired in the last 6 hours.  The songwriter's conference starts today.  As I told you my plane ticket didn't happen.  I have prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and asked others to pray and pray and pray.  To pray if God wanted me to go, it would happen.  I had prayed that if my Dad had a ticket, he'd call me.  He never did.  Ticket prices are outrageous.  Everybody said I should just call my Dad.  I said no because I felt like I was manipulating my prayer, and I didn't want to do that.  I woke up this morning and momentarily had a sinking feeling.  But I felt God say "Get up, and get your stuff ready.  If you believer you're going, why aren't you ready to go?"  So that's what I did.  Nothing happened.  I prayed, read my Bible, watched Christian TV.  I also read a Beth Moore Bible devotion given to me yesterday by Betty Welch it said "God will give us victory, but sometimes he will require every ounce of energy and cooperation we have in the process." I prayed and continued to say "God if this isn't Your will, keep this door shut."  My mom came over at lunch and wanted to know why I was "fixed up".  Where was I going?  I said "Well, I'm still hoping in some way I can go to St. Louis."  She looked at me sort of like I was crazy, and said "Now when does this start?"  "Today"  When she left, I felt a strong sense to call my Daddy.  I didn't feel like I was manipulating, I honestly felt like God was telling me to do it, and I was cooperating just like my devotion.  I called him and asked him if he had any free tickets.  He chuckled and said that those take 6 weeks, he would've helped me if he'd know in advance.  He tells me to see if I can find something cheap and he'll help me out.  I call the airlines and ask them to help me find the cheapest flight.  $1000.00.  That's right $1000.00.  I said "Can I ask you a question?  How long do you have to book frequent flyer miles in advance?  6 weeks?"  "No.  2 hrs  Would you like to make a reservation?"  I told her the situation, and asked her if I could make the reservation, and could my Dad call back with the miles to pay for it.  She said yes he could.  They had 2 flights that would be free, 1 at 2:15 today, and 1 at 8:00 am in the morning.  I knew I couldn't make the 2:15, and told her 8:00 in the morning.  I called my Daddy, and he said YES!  I called the people over the workshop and said "You said I could let you know at the last minute.  I'm letting ya know.  Is it ok?"  YES again!  I then called Mark first to scream in his ear.  He is happy for me, and knows this is a God-thing.  I then call everyone I can think of to scream in their ear.  I have to be at the airport early tomorrow and I haven't worked that out, but God will.  I just want to brag on God, and give Him the credit and honor and glory.  I am not the cause of any good thing, it's all Him.

 Psalm 126: 4-6 And now, God, do it again—
      bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
   So those who planted their crops in despair
      will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
   So those who went off with heavy hearts
      will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing

I was recently inspired by a person who was extrmely forthcoming in a public way about  a very private matter.  The reason this person did this was with the hope he would inspire and influence people who may have the same struggle and problem.  Even though I don't have that same struggle, it inspired me that sometimes when we're honest about our "hang-ups", it let's people around us know they're not alone in struggling.  So as per my usual habit, I'm going to over-share, but it's with purpose and hope that someone who reads this will be inspired.

Since going through everything I have in this past 5 weeks, I've had the opportunity to examine myself closer than I ever have.  I've always prayed that Mark and I would have the best marriage possible.  But, at times it's been far from that (just like everybody else).  We've been through alot, and kids and money are probably the two biggest stresses for any marriage.  I'm one of the most needy and insecure people that you will ever meet.  I have had a very low self image.  When I first returned from my second hospital stay and asked God to perform a miracle in my body, He said "How can I when you don't truly believe that I love you and accept you?  I want you to believe that I totally and completely love you and accept you right now that way you are, before anything will change for you."  In that moment, I got it.  I think for the first time ever maybe.  I have said this before, but I've always wanted constant affirmation from Mark.  I've prayed that we would be best friends, and each other's #1.  The stresses and schedule of life at times have choked out any possible time for each other, and our financial situation has kept us from even being able to have 1 night in a hotel for our 10 yr. anniversary, and I'll confess, I was devestated.  I have prayed regularly for God to change our circumstance.  To change us into the couple that He desires us to be.  For Him to have His perfect will in our life.  In my prayer time last week, God spoke to me very very clearly.  He said "Gina, I won't listen to you prayer, and your past marriage prayers have been unheard, and powerless, becuase of YOU.   You pray for Me to bless your enemies, you forgive a Dr. who hurt you, you make a very good practice of forgiving, but you do not practice forgiveness for the person that you claim you want to be closest to next to Me."  He was right, and it all was put before me at that moment.  I had stored up any offense that I felt Mark had ever committed for my ammunition against him.  I would pull out the necessary bullet size appropriate to defeat any issue that ever came up so that I could be the winner.  I felt ashamed as I understood that I needed to completely change.  I realized that this meant forgiving not only times I'd been asked for, but also those times that I hadn't been.  Times when my feelings were hurt, and when I wasn't understood.  Times when we were unable to go on vacation, or do what the world says are a necessary part of a happy life.  Forgive the things that weren't Mark's fault, but because I wanted to blame somebody other than myself, I blamed him.  For this revelation, it comforts me to know that at least 1 purpose of my physical affliction, has been for my spiritual healing in this matter and I'm thankful.  Am I completely better, and  will this never happen again?  I'm choosing to live 1 day at a time.    But, you all are my new accountability partners in this!!

Matthew 18:21-22At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?"  22Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven

Do you practice forgiving your brother or sister who've offended or wronged you 490 times.  What I want you to realize today is that this "forgiveness thing" is a big deal.  It covers many different areas.  It ranges from a person who hates you, all the way to the people who love you.  It covers it all.  I want out of all bondage that I have control over, and you do too (whether you know it or not).  Ask God to show you today if you've got some unforgiveness that needs to be dealt with.  It will change everything.

God,

I pray for my reader today.  Lord when we are hurt or offended, we feel angry.  Help us in that moment to always remember that You never ever ask us to do anything that you haven't already done and experienced.  Strenthen us in this truth.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Luke 23:34Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Good Year Blimp

You might get tired of this, but I have to start out again with saying I praise God for today, and yesterday.  I really, really felt good yesterday.  I watched Christian TV, and then laid off TV pretty much for the remainder of the day.  I prayed yesterday that I would be healed, and feel that way.  I literally got on my knees, as I read the story of the woman with issue of blood who said "If I can just touch His garment I will be healed."  My prayer was "God, I want to touch your spiritual garment.  Because Lord your Word says that you're at my right hand, and at the right hand of the Father."Psalm 16:8 I have set the LORD always before me.Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.Psalm 45:4 In your majesty ride forth victoriously in behalf of truth, humility and righteousness; let your right hand display awesome deeds."  And as I prayed I literally took my hand and rubbed His spiritual garment.  Glad there was nobody home, or they would've thought I was crazy.  I hung up about 500 things laying in my closet floor.  I also cooked our family some form of dinner.  (It wasn't good, but that's beside the point)  I realized as I was cooking,  I didn't have ANY sensation of the stent being in place.  I had totally forgotten.  I was in momentary awe.  Because I had forgotten to take the bladder med that I take every 8 hours, because I was feeling so good.  It's just like the song Alabaster Box.  You can't even understand exactly, you just have to choose to (or not to) take my word for it.  I went to church last night, and again was glad I did.  Amanda finished up her teaching for me.  She taught on James 4 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James%204:1-10;&version=65; and it was very good teaching on "getting serious." On my drive to church I saw the Good Year Blimp.  I remembered various times in my life when I've seen it, or someone who was with my would see it and declare, "Look!  The Good Year Blimp!"  As I looked at it I realized that I had no idea what the purpose of the Good Year Blimp was.  Does it drop down Good Year Blimp fairy dust?  Is the driver just blowing kisses down that we can't see?  Is it an "undercover FBI" tool?  I thought "What does this thing do?"

Is that how your Christian life is?  You're just present, but without purpose.  I think churches are full of Good Year Blimps today.  People who offer a big and beautiful showing that's full of hot air.  They're outspoken, but yet say nothing of meaning.   Oh that we can realize God is so much more concerned with our inside than our outside.  God desires more for you than existence.  Be bold today.  Ask God to show you what He wants for your life.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=23fc8cb33e04f4d05132

Roger preached Sunday on the healing of the crippled man who had to be lowered through the roof by 4 friends so that he could reach Jesus.  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark%202:%201-12;&version=65;  You may be like me.  In the past I've thought "Aw.  How sweet.  What a nice story." But Roger taught it for what it really was.  Four friends who were determined to get this man to Jesus.  Men who were willing to take extreme measures.  Without those men, maybe that man wouldn't have received forgiveness and healing.  Roger taught on this to inspire our church for our upcoming friend day.  He specifically said that the ultimate goal is to bring lost people to church.  He knows the tendancy of many is to just get a saved friend to come with that person to church so the attendance will be high. I read something this morning in Proverbs that really spoke to me about how we are to "win" a person to the Lord.

 Proverbs 9:7-12

If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you'll get slapped in the face;
   confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins.
So don't waste your time on a scoffer;
   all you'll get for your pains is abuse.
But if you correct those who care about life,
   that's different—they'll love you for it!
Save your breath for the wise—they'll be wiser for it;
   tell good people what you know—they'll profit from it.
Skilled living gets its start in the Fear-of-God,
   insight into life from knowing a Holy God.
It's through me, Lady Wisdom, that your life deepens,
   and the years of your life ripen.
Live wisely and wisdom will permeate your life;
   mock life and life will mock you.

The problem with many Christ followers is they are trying to reason with cynics and confronting the bad behavior, and wasting their time on a scoffer before they care about life.  This scripture says don't waste your time.  Roger's "reach 'em, teach 'em, grow 'em, send 'em" catch phrase is correct.  The first thing is reach 'em.  It's not our job to clean a person up, it's God's and their's.  But, if we criticize these people before they even are "reached" and before they care about life, then we're doing more harm than good.

So I hope that the people who (God willing) are brought in on friend day, the people that may look dirty, or smell bad, or maybe they don't know yet that you can't talk during church, or other un-churchy behaviors that they might display, will be looked beyond until they care about life.  That's the first goal, is they understand the gift of God and receive it.

---

Yesterday had ups and downs.  But mostly ups.  Somewhere in the afternoon I started feeling bad, and I prayed that God would help me to feel better, and within no time I did.  I was able to take Chloe to ballet last night.  (Even though I didn't have on any make-up!)  It felt really good to be able to even to take that 1 thing off of Mark.  This morning Mark had to call and wake me up, and that truly was a miracle.  I've been waking up usually when he does, and sleeping pretty light.  But, I felt like I was really in a deep sleep last night, and it was great!  I know this because when I woke up to go to the bathroom I ran into the door.  But hey, that's good!  I thought I could get a dirt cheap plane ticket for the songwriting seminar, but that has fallen through.  I'm not totally giving up that God wants me to go next week, but I am at total peace if it truns out He doesn't.  Only He could give me this kind of peace.

I experienced corporate worship yesterday for the first time in 4 weeks, and it was amazing.  I was thankful to God every moment I was there, and probably for the first time in I don't know when, I realized I am blessed to have the  opportunity to attend church.  It's an old saying but a true one, "You don't know what ya got, 'til it's gone."  I'm thanking God for things that I never thought twice about before a month or so ago.  Most people knew what had happened to me and what I'm going through, a few didn't, and there were people still wanting to "defend" me against my Dr.  But like I said before, I'm hurt, so they're hurt for me, and I understand.  But it was so good to see the people that had seen me a few days before and knew what  miracle it was that I was there.  I told my class that we will make plans as a class, and not take the "wait and see" attitude about my health.  Amanda Cole has been teaching for me on Sun. night, and she asked me if I was going to be there last night.  I told her I wasn't sure, but I would try.  But, in the afternoon I realized I had a choice to play the victim or to play the victorious and I chose the latter.  I'm so glad I went, because Amanda taught on David and Jonathan, and what it means to be a true friend.  It was a good lesson, and I was convicted of selfisheness. 

I Samuel 20:11-17 "Come outside," said Jonathan. "Let's go to the field." When the two of them were out in the field, Jonathan said, "As God, the God of Israel, is my witness, by this time tomorrow I'll get it out of my father how he feels about you. Then I'll let you know what I learn. May God do his worst to me if I let you down! If my father still intends to kill you, I'll tell you and get you out of here in one piece. And God be with you as he's been with my father! If I make it through this alive, continue to be my covenant friend. And if I die, keep the covenant friendship with my family—forever. And when God finally rids the earth of David's enemies, stay loyal to Jonathan!" Jonathan repeated his pledge of love and friendship for David. He loved David more than his own soul

To be that kind of friend!  To have the kind of friend!  What an example.

After church we had a fellowship time for the deacon ordination, and I wanted to stay.  Chloe has had a cough, and stuffy nose, but she said she felt like staying.  I ate normal food, and it was good, but the stent bothered me a good bit last night, and I knew what that meant. So I started the day with peaches and prunes.  UGH!   

 

Spiritual Nutrition  WorshipPrayer TimeBible Study

Serving Size – Body full , Mind  full and Spirit full   Amount per Serving 1 day   *Percent Daily Values are based on a godly Christ centered, Spirit filled calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your spiritual maturity level.

 

You know I'm really not fond of prunes.  Are you??  I didn't think so.  But they are beneficial to me.  I feel better when I eat them.  But, I wait until I absolutely have to eat them before I'll do it.  Which makes the first bite awkward and taste bad.  Instead of eating them daily to train myself to enjoy them and like them, I do it the hard way and it never tastes good.   

---

Is your relationship with Christ this way??  Are you "eating" your proper daily requirements for spiritual nourishment?  Or do you wait until your forced to take a bite, and it always tastes bitter because your not used to it?

Did you know that studies show a well-balanced spiritual diet has been proven to improve the quality of your life, and greatly reduces your risk of fear, failure and sin? 

Don't wait until you're on your spiritual "death bed" to get it!  Don't wait until you're forced to eat spiritual food to train you spiritual pallet.  There's no time like the present. Get serious about your walk with God today!

 

 

 

I have to start of this blog by saying GOD IS GOOD.  I feel very very good today, and I give 100% of the credit to Him.  Mon. thru Wed. I felt ok, and at times not even ok.  Yesterday I felt pretty good, but I was so weak.  But, today I feel great compared to  how I have felt.  I came to the realization a few nights ago, that the emptier my belly is, the less the stent bothers me.  So (I know most of you can't believe I'm doing this) I'm trying to eat mostly fruit, with very light meals.  My coffee consumption is up to about 4 cups in the morning.  Quite a change from the 16+ cups per day I drank this time a month ago. 

I'm trying to really cut back or secular TV when I'm home alone.  Two weeks ago I sat with romote in hand.  Click, click, click, click.  I realize now that it's depressing.  So, I watch anything Christian I can find, and then try not to watch hours and hours of purposeless (is that a word?) junk.  2 Timothy 2:16 Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly  

I have had and am still having people call me to tell me they're praying for me, and believing with, along with people telling me negative things about my Dr..  I'm trying to explain to them the principle of forgiveness.  As in how can I not forgive, and expect God to forgive me.  22-25Jesus was matter-of-fact: "Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say, 'Go jump in the lake'—no shuffling or shilly-shallying—and it's as good as done. That's why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you'll get God's everything. And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it's not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive—only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins."   Do you see that last part???  I have to do this. I want my mountain to move, but it ain't goin' nowhere if I don't forgive.  But, I don't want to sound like I don't appreciate the thougt behind their anger.  I've been hurt, and they are hurting for me, and I'm grateful that people care.  Please don't think I'm not grateful. 

Both of my Dr.s have said that I can go to the songwriting semiar in 2 weeks, if I feel ok, and there's no real physical activity goin' on.  So, I've placed it completely in God's hands.  I've prayed if He wants me to go, I'll go.  If he doen't want me to go, I won't go. 

Please continue to pray for my family.  Mark is wearing every hat in our family, and it is wearing him out.  I've felt so helpless , but I know The One who offers the real help.  I want to be there for him and the kids, and I'm not, and that's been hard.  But, I'm praying for them constantly, and trusting God to fill in the gaps. 

I haven't lost hope in modern medicine, but I now have greater hope and understanding that every moment of my life is in God's hands.  I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just checkin' this thing out before I turn it over to Gina!  I think I've got it figured out so you should be hearing from Gina shortly!

Good Morning!!!  To all who usually read and enjoy Gina's blogs, SURPRISE! This is not Gina!  We are in the process of changing blog sites to use a Christian service to eliminate annoying and objectional pop-ups!  So I am attempting to create a new place for Gina to blog and this is an attempt to see if it's working. I have no words of wisdom to pass along and no family stories to tell. I'll let Gina take care of that when I get this thing working!  I hope everybody has a great day today and please check back soon for the amazing blogs of my amazing wife!                Mark

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