Gigi's Blog

You may have heard this before, I may have even blogged it before, but please allow me the guilty pleasure of reopening the deepest wound ever created by barbecue.

It was Valentine's day 1998.  Mine and Mark's first Valentine's as a married couple, and we were going out.  The morning is a blur. (I guess I've blocked so much of it out) The kids weren't at home, and my wheels of romance were spinning, and I knew Mark's were too.  We found out later, they were spinning ini different directions.  I remember I had picked up a copy of a monthly publication that had events in the Charlotte/Gastonia area.  I can't remember everything, but I recall things like poetry readings, dinner/play meals, symphony concerts, and things like that.  Perfect!!!  I knew that he probably was thinking the same thing, so we'd just spur of the moment decide on something together and it would be great.  I had made my mom and his parents some brownies and gotten a card, or a candle or something, I can't remember exactly, and took that over.   I went back home to get ready for our date and give Mark his gift.  He was going to LOVE his gift and I knew it.  I couldn't wait.  I had gotten him a massage. I went home, and he giggled and told me he was gonna like what I'd got him.  Huh?  How did he know?  He didn't know.  He was lying.  I just knew there was no way.  I mean, how?  Well, when he told me he in fact did know, 'cause he told me what it was, I couldn't believe it.  His boss went to the same place, and had somehow saw the gift certificate copy and had told him.  I was FURIOUS.  .  This was a preview of things to come.  Well, I simply couldn't be without a surprise for my husband.   I mean, he would die (I thought).  So, I rushed to Belk's and found some pair of jeans, and got them, because now it had become a competition, I had to have a surprise.  So, I gave him his gift, and he gave me mine, and then it happened.  The dinner discussion.  It went something like this. 

Him- "Where do you want to go?" Me- "I don't know, where do you want to go?"eyes batting with a sheepish grin.  Him-Well there's the barbecue place in Hickory. It's like a barn. Dirt floor.  People clog, and you drink out of mason jars." Me-Barbecue?????Barbecue??!!!  BARBECUE!!!!!!!!?

I could not believe him.  I mean, what in the world?  Didn't he know that I wanted to go eat at a place we couldn't afford with rude people and small servings of food!?  Didn't he want the same thing?  Were we that different?  

We ended up going to a place in Bessemer City-MaKel's.  We barely spoke to each other the entire night, and then these people right next to us got engaged and everyone was clapping and cheering.  Mark said "I hate it when people do stuff like that in public."  Figures.  We went home and I said "I'm tired.  I'm going to bed."  and I did. 

That was 10 yeears ago today, and you can't imagine how we laugh at the story now.  Maybe you've experienced something like that in your own relationship. 

You know what part of my problem was?  I had put every need in my life on the shoulders of Mark.  I believed that my husband could be my everything.   But he couldn't then, he can't now and he never will be.  What do I mean?  Mark is not God, and he doesn't want that role, he never did.  This is why relationships between husbands and wives struggle, friends, parents and children, and on and on.  There's a God-shpaed need that is only met by God through a relationship with Him.  Everything could seem right, and yet something still feel wrong when you're not sold out and moving in the direction of Christ.  You've got to be in love with Him for any other love to work.  To really work. 

So, I hope today is the best Valentine's you've ever had as we both realize the love of Christ. 

 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=I%20corinthians%2013;&version=65;

If you're wondering about our gifts this year, Mark gave me some perfume and a gift card to Burger King (which is my favorite place to get coffee).Mark's gift....................I shaved.

On Saturday, Affinia (Mark's place of employment) held it's annual healthcare sreenings.  These are required for individuals who don't want their deductibles to go up $1000.00.  We don't, so we went.  I think Mark and I both knew it wasn't gonna be pretty.  They added your waist measurement to the screeninga this year.  Ya.  Not good.  Well, my stuff basically said that I've gained 15 lb. from two years ago.  My BMI, weight, and cholesterol were in unhealthly levels.  It was comical the way I tried to defend it.  (My cholesterol)  "Well.  I've had surgery."  "That shouldn't effect it."  "Well, I have a thyroid condition."   "Shouldn't effect it."  "Oh, I forgot.  I drank a protein shake this morning."  "Wouldn't effect it."  I have never, ever, ever, ever, had a problem with cholesterol.  I've been able to eat anything I've ever wanted, and still never suffered from high cholesterol.  Oh, my chloesterol-250.  Well, you're probably assuming that Mark's cholesterol was 332, yep that's right.  Not good.  Mark is stressed out, max'd out, pushed, pulled prodded and pooped.  He usually eats 1 meal a day, 1 unhealthly meal a day.  Well, he was extremely discouraged by this news.  Like I said, we both expected this, but for some reason when we actually heard it, it was overwhelming.  We didn't go out and run a marathon or buy a treadmill Saturday night.  In fact we didn't do anything.  And what's worse, last night when we got home from church, I didn't eat any dinner.  Then at about 9:00, I popped some popcorn and added buttery topping.  Oh, that's not all.  I then added about 500 dark hershey kisses and melted it in the microwave.  No.  I'm not kidding.  Well as the butter and chocolate were pouring down my face, the phone rang.  "Hey.  What are you doing."  "Nothing.  What are you doing."  "Uh.  I got a ticket."  "A ticket.  This is not good Meagan.  Not good."  "I know I'm sorry.  Are you mad at me?"  "No.  I'm not mad.  I just hope your insurance doesn't go up double, 'cause that's a problem.  A big problem."  "How fast were you going?' "70 in a 55."  So, as we speak, Mark is making phone calls and seeing what the options are.

You know I was thinking about this cholesterol thing, and the speeding too.  Was I sorry that I've eaten really poorly, or was I sorry that I got caught with a bad health report?  Was Meagan sorry she sped or sorry she got caught with a ticket?  The answer for both is probably sorry that we were caught.  The Bible says that you're sins will find you out, and they will, but you don't have to wait until they do.  It would've been much easier for me to be doing the right thing all along, and for Meagan to have not sped, and not have to deal with a ticket, and me and Mark. 

You know sin separates us from God.  Pure and simple.  God will allow us to suffer the consequences of our choices when He has to.  To get us back on track.  But we can do an about face right now.  We don't have to wait until we get caught.  But I think alot of people are confused about repentance, and sometimes I forget too.  I'm sorry that I've eaten a stick of butter probably every other day for the past 20 years.  I'm sorry that I eat more than most men, including but not limited to my husband.  I'm sorry that I'm this way.  But will that sorrow change things????  No.  I will have to adjust and change my behavior.  That's where alot of us are with sin. We really are sorry.  But not sorry enough to walk away.  And the bottom line is that's not good enough, if you want to get back in a right relationship with Christ.  I think alot of people take their sin to the alter, lay it down, get back up and take it with them.  Tears are shed, because the people are genuinely sorry, but not repentant. 

2 Chronicles 7:14 14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

God isn't ok with sin.  He doesn't wink at it.  He doesn't sweep it under a big rug in heaven.  It has to be dealt with.  My sin has to be dealt with.  Your sin has to be dealt with.  How do we deal with it?  Admit it, accept it. Don't tell God the reason that you're sinning is because of another person.  He doesn't want to hear that.  I do believe you can pour out your heart in an open expression of your feelings to God.  And you should.  But when stand before God in heaven we won't be able to blame others, so there's no need to form that habit here now.   Repent.  God's forgiven you, so you need to forgive you.  Does this mean you'll never sin again??  No.  And if you've been living your life based on forgiveness you received 20 years ago, you probably need to search your life a bit.  God is love and he wants to give us every good thing.  But sin, builds that wall between us and Him.  The price has already been paid.  Just accept His forgiveness, and turn your back on ANYTHING that moves you away from God.

Praying for you.

This morning I went downstairs to pour Chloe cereal.  I knew we were out of almost everything but she said she would eat Honey Schmacks (that's what we call 'em"). I pulled out the box- I chunk it and just wait for her.  She comes down and says she'd eat a pop-tart.  Pull out pop-tart box-empty.   I know you're wondering why we have empty boxes of food in the pantry, but we just do- ok.  She starts folding the pop-tart box neatly and says this is how you throw away a box.  MHM.  Wonder who she learned that from???  MP.  She opens the trash can and sees the cereal box thrown in its entirety, not folded at all.  "MOMMY!!!   That's not how you throw away a cereal box."  She attempts to correct my very serious mistake.  I ask her if she'd like a doughnut hole for breakfast.  "For breakfast??!!"  I remind her that she eats cheetos for breakfast.  She opts for butter toast, with a doughnut hole as an appetizer.  Healthy breakfast, right? 

This week's Sunday School lesson is on salvation, the One Way.  All this other junk, false religion, even good works will not save.  Just like Chloe told me "That's not how to throw away the cereal box.", Paul tells ushttp://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians%201:1-12;&version=31 ; that there is One Way.  You know this week I've been sort of dealing with something, and God spoke a truth to my heart that hit upside the head and made me say "Halleluiah!”  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=I%20samuel%2015:22&version=31  Obedience is better than sacrifice.   I think this week I maybe understood that the ultimate sacrifice isn’t needed, it’s already happened.  The reason Jesus sacrificed the way He did is so I could never take credit, and you can’t take credit, it’s all Him.  Sometimes in our sacrificing in the name of us we want credit.  So what He wants is us, willing and ready to follow His instructions. To obey.  Not to sacrifice as a make-up for not doing what He tell us to do.  Sort along this same line are people trying to earn a relationship with Him through works.  But it’s not works to get faith; it’s faith that shows through works.  Faith without works is dead, and what good is dead faith???   But Satan has many in a trap.  Exhausting themselves to get to God, through a tunnel of works that doesn’t exist.  Always saying “do a little more. “  Approaching God, but never arriving.  And for eternity, almost just won’t be enough.If you have mistakenly thought that all the good things that you do, make God love you, and if you don’t them He doesn’t love you, please understand the truth today.  He loved you before you were born.  Nothing can change that.   Walk into the freedom of that truth today.  Obey Him.  Trust Him.  He loves you.

If you read my last blog, you know that I referenced my hatred of stockings.  I contemplated using the other words for stockings.  You know.  The one that rhymes with AuntieRose, or NannyGoes, and start with the letter P.  I just felt sort of funny about using that word, because I didn't know if was Southern Baptist Bloggly correct language.  So, as to not offend I used with word stockings, which still might have offended or, also may have left people under 50 thinking, What is she talking about?"  But I quite often speak, as well as sometimes blog without thinking, and this time I ws trying to think before speaking and blogging.

The master wordsmith was Jesus in every way.  He said important things so cleverly, and told stories that held an audience captive.  I read the story of the Pharisees who brough the adulterer before Jesus. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%208:1-11&version=65  His words caused these hypocrites to leave with nothing to say.  Some people believe he may have written their past sins in the sand, but whatever it was, coupled with his powerfully chosen words, foiled their plan.  

Do you think before you speak?  Do you pray before you confront or debate?  I have a habit of reacting, not praying or thinking before I speak.   Words are powerful in every way.  They can uplift and encourage, and they can kill and destroy. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James%203:%205-8;&version=65;

I want to share with you something I came across yesterday.  Some of you may have already seen it.  It is Tom Cruise speaking on Scientology. He's very passionate, very driven. I think you and I as Christians often don't realize what we're up against.  Christ said Matthew 10:34-37"Don't think I've come to make life cozy. I've come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over me, you don't deserve me. If you prefer son or daughter over me, you don't deserve me. Our mistaken feelings that peace is always best have caused prayer to be taken out of school, abortion to be legalized, and you know the list of so many other things. 

WARNING: THERE IS AN EXPLITIVE IN THE LAST PART OF THE VIDEO.  AT THE 8 MINUTE MARK. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0&feature=related

hthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0&feature=relatedtp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0&feature=related

This is a quote from part of the video  "They said: "so, like... have you met an SP?" And I looked at them and... you know... and I thought how a beautiful thing because maybe one day it will be like that. You know what I'm saying? Maybe one day it will be that... "Wow, SPs, like, they'll just read about those in the history books, you know." [...] Thing is I just go through that tech and it's... it's literally... it's not how to run from an SP, it's PTS/SP, how to shatter suppression, confront and shatter suppression, you apply it and it's like "boom!" [...]Because they don't come up to me and do that. They won't do it to me... not in my face, you know, or... or anywhere in my vicinity where they feel they can be... confronted. [...]

What is all this???? http://www.scientologyhandbook.org/SH11_3.HTM

I just got this email this morning. http://www.crossroad.to/articles2/007/smith-oprah.htm

The battle lines are drawn.

This morning I almost did something stupid.  I almost wore high heels to work.  You've proabably noticed I never have on pretty shoes.  I have lots of problems with my feet and it's just not worth the agony to wear uncomfortable shoes.  I don't wear skirts much at all, because I can't wear the appropriate shoes, and I HATE stockings.  But if I wear a skirt, I have to wear stockings because I always look like an albino because I hate the outside.  I had a skirt cleaned to wear to M&Ms Christmas party, which is still in plastic, because I ended up not wearing it.  I also purchased stockings at that time which were still in the box.  But this morning I thought "I'm going to wear those heels today.  I will look so nice.  Everyone will be so surprised."  So, I put on the stockings, put on the shoes, walked two steps in the shoes, laughed at my foolishness, and took off the shoes, put my ugly black shoes on, and came to work.  I was thinking "Why were stockings invented? What's the point?" Don't know.  Don't really care.  I just sort of wish I didn't have them on right now.

Do you know that much of the unsaved world doesn't know why Christ came, or why we choose to be Christians, or that He died for them.  They don't know the point of their life.  Guess what???  We have to tell them.  Well, we don't have to tell them, we have a free will.  But we should tell them.  I'm praying that doors will open for me as an individual to do so, and our class, and church as a whole.  But, I also think that we need to walk through the doors that are already open. 

Luke 11  

 9"Here's what I'm saying:

   Ask and you'll get;
   Seek and you'll find;
   Knock and the door will open.

 10-13"Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This is not a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your little boy asks for a serving of fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? If your little girl asks for an egg, do you trick her with a spider? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing—you're at least decent to your own children. And don't you think the Father who conceived you in love will give the Holy Spirit when you ask him?"

Last night Holly called around 6:00 to see if I would mind combining Vision and Focus again because she and Roger wanted to make sure that they would have a place to be, just in case they didn't like the idea of the "adult" Wed. night Bible study.  I didn't mind, and Mark said he'd help me.  But, I had an area of concern, a sort of major area-the lesson.  I've decided that for a while (well , until we're finished) that we will study The Purpose Driven Life in Vision.  I'm excited about it.  Well, last night was day two.  I'm literally doing each day as a lesson.  So my concern was that the group would be bored to tears by this.  But I decided this was my lesson, and God knew in advance I would be leading this group, and He'd given this to me for a reason.  On the way to church my mind eased and God spoke to my heart two songs for the end.  Lori E. came in and helped get one of the songs for the end that I needed.  Plus she was there to sit with the group.  That worked out good, because I was teaching, Mark was sort of running the sound, and then Lori was there was there to intereact. The lesson for day two was "You Are Not An Accident" and I pretty much felt like at least some of the paeople there needed to hear what I was going to teach on.  One of which being me.  Someone gave me her Bible to read the scripture that was on the front  

Psalm 138:8The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
                  your love, O LORD, endures forever—
                  do not abandon the works of your hands.

The amazing thing-she had no idea this was the first scripture reference of our lesson!!  We talked about our flaws.  Physical, character, background and whatever else.  I told them that we have to face the reality that Christ is fully aware of all this, and that he made us EXACTLY the way he wanted us.  I told them some things about me that I struggle with, and it hurt and it was hard to say, but I wanted them to know.  To know that I don't understand alot of things about me, but I  know that God fully understands. I could tell alot of them were hanging on my words, some it seemed alot.    At the end I played a song and had them write everything about themselves that they've wanted to question God about, and on the other side had them write a letter to God about their feelings and how they want to allow Him to help them to accept who He created them to be. We closed by singing The Real Me by Natalie Grant. 

I had just taught on the fact that God does everything for a purpose, that there are no coincidences in life.  I went to choir, and forgot it all.  After choir I was talking to someone about co-writing a song.  Very exciting to me.  But in my mind I thought, "Well, if I hadn't sat by her, she probably wouldn't have said anything."  Instead of saying "God, you made sure that I sat by her! Thank you!"  Joel asked me to sing Sunday night, or asked me if I'd like to.  I said "OK."  But, in mind I thought, "He only asked me, becuase he thought I might get upset if he doesn't ask me.  Doesn't he know that I am not one bit offended if I never sing a solo."  Istead of saying "God, you positioned me in that place so that he would be inclined to ask me to sing."  But, on the drive home God reminded me of what I'd forgotten, as I remembered praying that God would open doors in people's lives.   

Today in your life I'm challenging you to accept that God made you, and loves His creation.  Does it make you uncomfortable when I say that?  God wasn't lonely, or needy.  He wants us.  I'm going to tell you what I told the group last night.  "Until, you accept that you are not an accident and God loves you, then we can't go any further!!"  This is only day two of The Purpose Driven Life, so basically the beginning.  You can't jump ahead  in the book, or in life,and miss this and think you're gonna be ok. 

Just to let you know Holly and Roger you guys were right.  We had 25 last night, and I asked how many would've left and they all raised their hands.   

My morning (before church) was timed so that I was able to really soak in Charles Stanley.  I always listen, but sometimes am so busy that I can't really hear.  But yesterday I could, and it was something that I believe will stick with me. He was preaching on the Holy Spirit.  One of the things he said was that as believers, we often don't realize who the Holy Sprit is, therefore we don't utilize His power.  So true.  I fall into that category oftentimes. 

John 14: 15-17"If you love me, show it by doing what I've told you. I will talk to the Father, and he'll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can't take him in because it doesn't have eyes to see him, doesn't know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!   Acts 1:8But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." 

Let me ask you a question.  What if you had a flashlight but kept the batteries to the side even though they were yours??  Well that's crazy.  But, we have huge power available to us that must be utilized. It doesn't just happen.   The Holy Spirit is your friend, and wants to do amazing things in your life.  Charles also brought up something else that I've struggled with for a long time.  He said that he used to have a difficult time practicing Glatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,.  He said that he really wanted these, but felt he wasn't there, and prayed that God would help him obtain these fruits.  Charles said that God revealed to him that these are fruits of the Spirit, not fruits of Charles.  I'm not sure if I can articulate what he was saying, but I totally understand it.  The power and gifts of these fruits are all about the Giver, not about us.  We pray for the Holy Spirit to use us as His tool, and empower us.  I'm not there yet, but I feel like I'm getting to know my Friend in a new way. 

Now to church.  I did sing in the choir, but I fought to keep my eyes open during P&W, but sometimes I just couldn't.  But, it all worked out.  I didn't get left.   

I John 5: 16-17For instance, if we see a Christian believer sinning (clearly I'm not talking about those who make a practice of sin in a way that is "fatal," leading to eternal death), we ask for God's help and he gladly gives it, gives life to the sinner whose sin is not fatal. There is such a thing as a fatal sin, and I'm not urging you to pray about that. Everything we do wrong is sin, but not all sin is fatal.  Roger preached on Christians that are living outside of the will of God.  Do we care????  We turn our backs, or use that clever cover "prayer" which (we believe) gives us the freedom to gossip about anything.  He talked about the sin leading to death, which this tell us not to pray about, and gave some examples from the Bible.  But, I also thought of something that I have done, and it was as if God was  speaking to me saying  "Don't do this anymore."  When a person dies and has rejected Christ, the Bible says they go to Hell.  I think that I sometimes pray "God have mercy" when I know or I believe that a person died without Christ.  To me God was saying yesterday, "Don't pray then.  It's too late.  Your opportunity to pray is while they are alive."  But the reality is I often haven't cared until they committed this "fatal" sin.  The reality is at that point, prayers are useless.  But, what can we do for those who've just lost their way??  1-3 Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. Do you care this much???  Or do you say, "It's none of my business."  Well, this scripture says it most certainly is your business.  To restore in a way that doesn't offend, that is free of "holier than thou" speech that people who are in the wrong will most likely turn off too.  I read this scripture this morning and loved it, and thought it really applied:  Proverbs 28: 23 In the end, serious reprimand is appreciated  far more than bootlicking flattery. That's The Message translation. 

I led youth last night, because the majority of them went to the A.R.C. banquet, as well as all the leaders, exept for Mark (who helped me).  We played charades about problems, the point being that we can't know what going on in our friends lives if we don't ask.  Get it??? Like you have to ask in charades??  Oh, never mind.  We also went around the room to share the things we wanted to praise for.  I explained to them that we all have things that we can offer up praise for.  I named several and then told them I had one more.  I am thankful that I've been given the realization that all the leftover Christmas chocolate candy tastes very good when you put chocolate syrup in bowl, put the canday in, melt it in the microwave for 1 minute and throw a Klondike bar in the middle.

I don't think I've told you, Chloe has walking pneumonia.  She started really coughing Saturday and Sunday.  So, Monday we took her to the Dr.  There's a new study out in regard to negative effects of over the counter cold medications.  But the night before we took her we got some mult-symptom medicine that helped.  Chloe is usually a drama queen, so that if she's sick, there's no doubt about it.  I give total credit to God that she's been in a good mood, and has handled everything so well.  She even answered when the Dr. asked her questions, and that is usually like pulling teeth.  I was so proud of her and fully aware of Divine Intervention over all this.  He gave her an inhaler, and a prescription that were both generic, which is very good because of Mark's insurance.  When I asked Dr. Fisher about the best way to treat her symptoms,  e said he sort of frowned on a multi-symptom medication and that there was a new study out that says honey is one of the best treatments for cough.  He said "Turns out what your grandmother told you is right." This is actually the second Dr. I've heard this from.  When Meagan had a terrible asthma episode last month, the asthma Dr. said the same thing.

Proverbs 24:13 Eat honey, my son, for it is good;
       honey from the comb is sweet to your taste Go ahead Drs, try to take credit, but this has been in the Bible all along.  

You know I'm think of another honey saying, (not in the Bible) "You catch more bees with honey."  What a true statement that I know, but so often forget.  

I'm at a crossroads with so many things, or at least it feels that way.  (I just realized the drama queen in my family is me. Meagan and Chloe are the drama princesses.)  One is my heart's cry for the homeless.  Our local monthly feeding project has to change. There are several reasons. One of which is the fact that the shelter is no longer feeding non-residents on the weekends.  Meaning the actual homeless won't be getting fed.  I'm so, well.......mad.  Another reason, is our church may not be able to continue to support this program.  Not because they don't want to.  But, because giving isn't where it should be.  This is my passion.  It is evident to me that it's not the passion of most, and to be honest, it's not the passion of the employees of the homeless shelter.  This is how I see it:  "In this corner, the homeless shelter.  In this corncer, Gina Pasour." And I walk out with my boxing gloves on, my mouthpiece in, and my robe on, that says WWJD on the back as I hum "How great thou art."  Somehow I don't think I'm gonna get very far with that.  As I talked about the other day, we all think of success as a huge following. But WWJD really?  He would minister to those people with a small following, or maybe at times alone.  He wouldn't say "I don't have the money, I can't."  He would say "Father, take what I have and multiply it."  He would love his enemies, and pray for those who thought he was stupid. He would attract people because of His kindness, not because of his defensiveness.

I would really appreciate you prayers about the homeless, and what God would call me to do.  I have a few things, that I think He's putting in my head.  But, I don't want to do anything that is not from Him.  Been there, done that.  Don't wanna go back.

I have read the most amazing Bible story in the past couple of days.  

2 Chronicles 14-16   http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Chronicles%2014-16;&version=65

In chapter 14, Asa says "O God you aren't impressed by numbers or intimidated by a show of force once you decide to help."  This is now underlined in my Bible.  Numbers or any show of force doesn't scare God, in any way, shape or form, or impress God in any way, shape or form.  When we are in God, then shouldn't we have that same godly confidence, when we're doing what He's called us to do??  Over the past several years I've felt God prompting me to several things.  I've measured my success in numbers.  Don't we all?  God's looking at me to do what He's called me to do.  He's not looking and judging me on anyone else.  This time last year, I thought by this year, we'd have more people in Vision.  I also thought more people would've joined in for What Counts.  I know we've had things at our church that have had a low attendance, and probably disappointed our pastor.  But, as I think on last year with Vision, and all that went on with What Counts, it was truly amazing.  We have a core group of about 8 in Vision that do almost everything.  I want to reach out to anyone and include anyone who'd like to be involved, but I'm not going to measure myself based on another person.  What pleases God is if I do whatever He tells me to do.  That's it.  The same goes for you. 

In Chapter 15 it says, "Then they bound themselves in a convenant  to seek God, the God of their fathers, wholeheartedly, holding nothing back. And they agreed that anyone who refused to seek God, the God of Israel, should be killed, no matter who it was, young or old, man or woman.  If each person would seek God on his or her own, and then we come together after we've done that, and join forces to do God's work, wow!!!  But sometimes we wait in our seriousness about this, and come together as a packed-out church full of human blobs of goo who don't really have any purpose, but wanting to be fed. 

If you read Chapters 14 and 15, Judah was victorious for no other reason than God.  But, in Chapter 16 for some reason, I think just to be on the "safe" side, he starts trying to build an alliance. Seems innocent enough, but what he was really doing was transferring his faith from God to man.  And we've all done it.  Chapter 16 says "Because you went for help to the king of Aram and didn't ask God for help, you've lost a victory over the army of the king of Aram."  The scripture goes on to remind him of the victory he'd had previously, and to tell him that God would have taken care of him.  I wonder what made him forget what God had just done?  Pride? Fear? Complacency?

I was thinking about all these things this morning.  I usually measure my success in numbers.  I am wishy washy in my commitment to seek God.  I often look to man instead of God for my help.  All of these things are mistakes.  God wants to be our everything, but we have to allow that.  What pleases God and what pleases man are so different.  God doesn't need anything.  He's all about giving.  I know, you think, "What can I give God?  A God who has no needs?"  He does have a want.  And His want is YOU.

"Obey God and leave all the consequences to Him" Dr. Charles Stanley 

Did you get one of "those gifts" this past Christmas.  You know, the kind where you say "Oh, I love it."   but you meant "Oh, I HATE it."  When we get one of those kinds of presents we usually stuff them in a drawer, and hope the giver never again thinks of the fact they've never seen us wearing that hideous sweater. 

Have you shoved your spiritual gift(s) in the drawer of your heart?  Have you hoped God has forgotten what He gave you, 'cause you don't like it? 

I Corinthians 12: 1-3 What I want to talk about now is the various ways God's Spirit gets worked into our lives. This is complex and often mis-understood, but I want you to be informed and knowledgeable. Remember how you were when you didn't know God, led from one phony god to another, never knowing what you were doing, just doing it because everybody else did it? It's different in this life. God wants us to use our intelligence, to seek to understand as well as we can. For instance, by using your heads, you know perfectly well that the Spirit of God would never prompt anyone to say "Jesus be damned!" Nor would anyone be inclined to say "Jesus is Master!" without the insight of the Holy Spirit.  4-11God's various gifts are handed out everywhere; but they all originate in God's Spirit. God's various ministries are carried out everywhere; but they all originate in God's Spirit. God's various expressions of power are in action everywhere; but God himself is behind it all. Each person is given something to do that shows who God is: Everyone gets in on it, everyone benefits. All kinds of things are handed out by the Spirit, and to all kinds of people! The variety is wonderful:

   wise counsel

   clear understanding

   simple trust

   healing the sick

   miraculous acts

   proclamation

   distinguishing between spirits

   tongues

   interpretation of tongues.

   All these gifts have a common origin, but are handed out one by one by the one Spirit of God. He decides who gets what, and when.  12-13You can easily enough see how this kind of thing works by looking no further than your own body. Your body has many parts—limbs, organs, cells—but no matter how many parts you can name, you're still one body. It's exactly the same with Christ. By means of his one Spirit, we all said good-bye to our partial and piecemeal lives. We each used to independently call our own shots, but then we entered into a large and integrated life in which he has the final say in everything. (This is what we proclaimed in word and action when we were baptized.) Each of us is now a part of his resurrection body, refreshed and sustained at one fountain—his Spirit—where we all come to drink. The old labels we once used to identify ourselves—labels like Jew or Greek, slave or free—are no longer useful. We need something larger, more comprehensive.  14-18I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less. A body isn't just a single part blown up into something huge. It's all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together. If Foot said, "I'm not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don't belong to this body," would that make it so? If Ear said, "I'm not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don't deserve a place on the head," would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it.  19-24But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance. For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of. An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn't be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own. Can you imagine Eye telling Hand, "Get lost; I don't need you"? Or, Head telling Foot, "You're fired; your job has been phased out"? As a matter of fact, in practice it works the other way—the "lower" the part, the more basic, and therefore necessary. You can live without an eye, for instance, but not without a stomach. When it's a part of your own body you are concerned with, it makes no difference whether the part is visible or clothed, higher or lower. You give it dignity and honor just as it is, without comparisons. If anything, you have more concern for the lower parts than the higher. If you had to choose, wouldn't you prefer good digestion to full-bodied hair?  25-26The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don't, the parts we see and the parts we don't. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.  27-31You are Christ's body—that's who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your "part" mean anything. You're familiar with some of the parts that God has formed in his church, which is his "body":

   apostles
   prophets
   teachers
   miracle workers
   healers
   helpers
   organizers
   those who pray in tongues.
But it's obvious by now, isn't it, that Christ's church is a complete Body and not a gigantic, unidimensional Part? It's not all Apostle, not all Prophet, not all Miracle Worker, not all Healer, not all Prayer in Tongues, not all Interpreter of Tongues. And yet some of you keep competing for so-called "important" parts.    But now I want to lay out a far better way for you

The make-up of who God created you and I to be is a done deal.  The gifts he has given us are for a reason.  My personality type is creative.  There are wonderful and good things about that, that I should embrace.  But I often think, "Oh, I would be a much better person if I was, say, an organizer.  That would fit society better."  You see a creative person, is usually late for everything, and sometimes not organized, and dramatic, and alot of other things that you already know if you know me.  I'm already stressing because Emory (Sunday School Director) sent and e-mail to all the teachers.  It was an encouraging and uplifting note, that also served as a request that teachers arrive by 9:30. on Sunday mornings.  I have probably only arrived at 9:30 at church...........well, I don't think I've ever arrived at 9:30!  But, I'm not suggesting to embrace not doing what you're supposed to do.  I'm saying the temptation is to say, "God, change who You created me to be.  It's not working out."  I'm reading the book Holly gave me "Discovering God's Purpose for Your Life."  There is one (Purpsose for Your Life), and when we live like there's not one, life stinks.  When we try to live someone else's purpse, life stinks.  'Cause you can't live someone else's calling. There's for them, and your's is for you, and mine is for me. 

I've struggled with a part of the book.  Beth says that God has called you to something.  She says that you have a purpose and you need to find it.  A purpose (1), not more than one.  I don't think that means that you can't do more than one thing, but it does mean it matters if you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing.

Proverbs 18:16 A gift gets attention;
   it buys the attention of eminent people.

Your gift will get attention if it gets used.  By attention I don't mean the kind that puffs you up with pride, I mean glory to God. 

 So, with a right attitude, and right motivation, pull your spiritual gift out of your drawer, thank God for it, and USE it. 

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