Gigi's Blog

I blogged yesterday and part of it was deleted, but I had such a headache I just gave up. 

I'll try to wrap up what I was gonna say in a few lines:

1. I demo'd a song Friday night-it went great

2. Church Sunday morning spoke to me in several ways. One, that even a cup of water, is counted to my credit in heaven, if God's telling me to do it.  If I can't build a homeless shelter right now, but I can do something smaller, God's noticing.  Secondly, when I've decided to do something, I need to follow through with it.  I began to remember that I need to prepare for God's goodness, so that I'm not shocked by it, and Satan can't use, or try to use it, against me.  Confused-watch "Facing the Giants."

As of today, I've been provided a plane ticket to go to a writing conference in TN. next week, and I'm crashing at a friend's house, unless something happens and Mark is able to go, then we'd crash at a hotel.  I'm really, REALLY, REALLY excited!  Can you hear me screaming?   You know when things work out to my benefit I always begin to doubt myself.  I thank God that in my Bible reading today I'm in Acts.  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%204&version=31  13When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. This grabs me in a very persoal way.  I'm full of the thoughts, I believe whispered in my ear from the devil "You've messed up too much.  God does forgive you, but that's it.  He can't use you.  You're not smart enough, you're not young enough, you're not old enough.  You're just- not."  I wrote this in my Bible today after I read this "This is why God uses ordinary-to bring Him glory."  People take note when unschooled, ordinary, become supernaturally empowered.  It works because when that happens, God gets all the credit.  So, I'm gonna rest today in that.  Let's both rest in it.  The only one telling us not to,  just happens to be the very one who wants to destroy us both. 

Well, it happened.  I've been doing pretty good lately about getting to work on time.  I mean I run in the door at 8:00 literally on the dot-but trust me, for me-that's on time and it ain't gettin' no better than that.  This morning I was late, and caught.  Mark woke me in plenty of time.  But I just sat up in the bed and didn't move.  I'm tired ok, I'm tired.  I got up and got going, and got Chloe up and got her going, but everything was late.  But I wasn't yelling or getting upset, and I'm actually glad I didn't.  I left my house at 7:48, which isn't good.    I got to the exit off I-85 at 8:00.  Then when I got to rail-road track, they were doing some type of work on it, which was probably about a minute or so before I could cross the track.  I passed Mark F. and waved, but I wasn't being sarcastic, I was just waving.  I got here at 8:07.  The phone rang a few minutes later-it was Mark F.  He wasn't calling to get onto me, he was calling to speak with someone, but I "went there" so he did too.  He made a comment asking me if I'd finally arrived, and I snapped back "I waved at you.  I wasn't trying to hide that I was late."  He told me that he sort of understood me being late, being when you have kids, things happen,  but being late on a regular basis he said was a total lack of respect.  Woa!  That HURT.  I feel like I don't have a leg to stand on.  The Bible says for me to respect those that are my employers, and not just when they're looking.  I know that, I want to do that.  I feel like in my heart I do, do that.  I'm trying.  I told him that I'd really been trying to do better about being to work on time, and I was sorry.  He accepted my aplology.  The thoughts start pouring through my head as I sit here feeling like I'm gonna cry "I can't do this.  I can't do this.  I can't do this."  I start thinking "I'm gonna quit something, I've got to. Something's gotta give." I am working at a Christian company (well, I mean owned by a Christian) that I have the freedom to publically read my Bible, and attend Monday morning Bible devotions and the freedom to rejoice in Christ.  So I want to get a grip here.  But I'm hurting because I feel overwhelmed by this day and in this moment. 

Are you in a situation like me today?  Feeling completely misunderstood and sort of struggling to hope?  MMMM......I wonder who's behind all this?  We aren't struggling really with us.  We are struggling with the forces beyond what we can see. Powers and principalities are in a war for every moment of my day, and yours.  To trip us up.  To cause us to feel offended, or whatever.  But Proverbs 13:6a says "A God-loyal life keeps you on track."  I'm struggling to find out what that means exactly and praying God will help me to do it.

You pray for me, and I'll pray for you-ok? 

You know how my cholesterol is "supposedly" high. Well, it may not surprise you to know that condensed soup, I usually don't add water and in fact add butter.  I don't really understand consensed soup.  Is it to decrease the amount of mass it would take up in the universe?  Well, this blog is gonna be like condensed soup.  It's alot to try to fit in the can of 1 blog.  But, I'll try. 

Friday Holly called me to tell me that she was going to Joyful Noise for a concert, and wanted Mark and I to go.  Echoing Angels were going to be there.  They sing "You Alone" which is the last solo I sang at church.  Love that song. I told Holly "I'd see.  Maybe" and stuff like that.  "No Gina.  I want you to go."  Really I felt like I should.  I already wanted to, but knowing how I am, I can very quickly talk myself out of things.  Chloe was going to a sleepover, so there just wasn't any reason not to go.  I borrowed 2 blank CDs from Scott F. so Mark could burn my songs on to give out to the group.  We were off.  I stuck some Vision business cards in my purse.  I have felt for a while that I should see if Joyful Noise needed any night and weekend help, and I've even asked before, but at that time they didn't.  As we were paying for our tickets I asked the owner if they needed any help.  He said "No".  But his son said they might soon, and asked me if I had a resume.  I told him I didn't but I did have a Vision business card with my contact info.  I felt good about that contact for whatever reason.  Now to the concert.  Adam came to the concert to surprise everyone, and we were all really excited to see him.  I'd never been to the upstairs at Joyful Noise.  Well, it was just awesome.  The atmosphere.  The presence of Christ.  A Temple Cry opened up for them and led us in worship.  They're a local group, that I got contact info for.  I think it'd be great for them to come on a Sun. night and perform a concert for Focus and Vision.  Really perform's not even the right word, because the lead singer said "We're not here to perform."  They just wanted to worship, and they did, and we did.  Echoing Angels was wonderful.  I loved it when the guitar player said "Hey we're just a bunch of rednecks!"  They were down to earth, and approachable, and just in love with their Creator.  We went to books-a-million and hung out before going home.  We were probably home by midnight.  I usually go to bed on Fridays at 9:30.  So, when I woke up Saturday it felt like I'd been run over by a truck, but it was so worth it.  Saturday Chloe and I stayed home and Mark was at basketball all day.  His team won the championship for youth!  Yay black team!

Sunday morning Roger preached on Matthew 25:14-30.http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2025:14-30;&version=65; and 2 things really stuck out.  1. I'm given talents and expectations based on who God created me to be.  Roger talked about it by saying he's not responsible for living the life of another pastor.  He's only responsible for himself.  I told Vision last night that I believe if we would embrace what God's gifted us with, and stop trying to improve on what we weren't gifted to do in the first place, we'd be much more at peace with who we are. 2. God didn't accept fear as an excuse for being "careful." Church's are full of common sense realists who would rather ensure mediocrity then be willing to rise or fall for Jesus.  So we settle for same old same same old.  I'm sick of it. I think the Message translation of this passage is very powerful, and it's what is attached.  I carried the morning teaching over into Sun. night Vision.  I Corinthians 12 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=I%20corinthians%2012;&version=65.  I reminded the class that we all have been given gifts when w were saved, whether they have been opened or not, the gifts have been given.  I also asked them if they were trying to live a successful Christian life detached from the body.  When a limb detaches from the body it dies.  This is where I believe alot of believers are, and it's dangerous territory.  They don't fee like they "fit" anywhere.  So, they just determine they will live detached from the body and don't realize they're dying in the process. 

Yesterday was an exciting day and night in Vision.  We had 12 in Sunday School, and we had 9 last night.  Plus we had a brand new visitor that just heard about us and was excited to have a young adult group to plug into.  She and I talked quite a bit last night and it really validated some things for me.

Now to enjoy this blog, just add one can of water, heat and enjoy.

Last night in Vision a prayer request was made for a girl who used to attend First Assembly Christian Academy.  She's 21 now.  She has pancreatic cancer and has been given 2-6 months to live.  Someone asked "How can you deal with that?  Knowing you have a few months to live?"  I knew what he meant, but I had to say what popped in my head.  "This is how we should all live.  But like we have today left to live."  I don't begin to know this girl and her family's heartache. So please don't think I'm implying it's easy to deal with.  But if you knew today was your last, what would you do? Forgive?  Hug? Say things you should've said a long time ago?  Rededicate your life to Christ?  Get saved?  Boy I'm thinking of lots of things I've just indefinitely put off.   

I'm also thinking of just working and toiling and living.  When does hard work pay off?  If it's in heaven is that ok?  Or have you said, "I'm sick of it.  I can't do it anymore.  I'm giving up"?  Boy I have.  But think of your life here on earth.  Say you're going on a huge vacation next week.  Doesn't it make it easier to get through this week?  You're working hard because next week's the payoff.  Our life is the work before the payoff.........if we don't give up.  It's so hard to keep going sometimes, but with God's help we can. 

Hebrews 9:27And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:  Praise God when we Christians meet our righteous judge!

Just to change the subject, my husband.............wears 3 pairs of socks at a time on his feet! Hah!  Next time you see him, ask him to take his shoes off if you don't believe me. He won't mind a bit.

The end of my 10th grade I tried out for cheerleading.  I attended Hunter Huss High where my daughter will be graduating from in a few months.  Wow!  I am old.  Anyway, I was from Tx. and had moved to NC less than a year earlier, so this was sort of going out on a limb.  I had been a cheerleader in Tx. all of Jr. High and had actually made the cheerleading squad in 10th grade, but we moved to NC.  So, I knew a little bit about cheerleading.  But it was different here.  The style.  I wasn't really known by anyone, including the judges.  So, I tried out and the results were posted, and I didn't make it.  I flew back to Tx. at the beginning of the summer to visit my family.  My dad's family.  My mom and dad were divorced, and he was in Tx.  The plan was that I would stay 4 weeks.  I didn't want to.  I loved my dad and missed everyone but I was a 15 year old teenage girl, who didn't want to spend a large portion of her summer away from her new friends.  Daddy and I at that point of my life were still in a stage of bass fishing with a can of vienna sausages and hot cokes, and I didn't want to do that for 4 weeks.  But I didn't want to hurt him either.  So I didn't.  I went.  I was feeling like those 4 weeks were going to be 4 years.  My best friend's(in Tx.) mom was a manager at K-Mart, and she and I were hanging out there one day.  I'd been in Tx. about a week at that time.  Her mom came out of her office and found me and Tabby (my best friend).  "Gina you need to call your mom." I asked why, and what was wrong.  She wouldn't tell me.  She just said "you need to call her."  So I did.  "One of the girls who made cheerleading has failed a sjubject and been kicked off the squad, and you had the next highest score.  You have to come home if you want to cheer.  Camp starts next week."  I felt like I had won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes!  I screamed and squealed for an hour I think.  Everything had worked out.  I was going home, and I didn't hurt daddy.  I was a cheerleader.  Wow!  It was hard to believe, but yet happening. 

This morning as I was offering up my lame attempts to tell God I love Him, and I'm thankful that He loves me, a phrase kept coming up that almost wasn't from me, but yet I was the one saying it.  "God I thank you that you are not limited by my imagination." Over and over this poured out.  What I was saying, or the Holy Spirit was saying for me, was God, thank you that my problems, and my needs, my questions, Your answers are not limited by my mind.  I can't understand You, You're beyond what my mind can conceive.  After my thanksgiving time I watched Beth Moore.  John 2:1On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, 2and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. 3When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine."  Beth said "Do you notice she only said a few words?  They have no more wine.  She explained that Mary didn't say "Ok.  To fix this you could do this.  Or you could do that."  But instead she told Him the problem, and left the answer up to Him.  Again the phrase "God I thank you that you are not limited by my imagination" comes out of me.  

You know I do this.  I give God his options.  I want to help Him, and make sure He has all the information needed, as if he needs any information.   Do you do that too?  Beth said "how 'bout if we just said God this is my problem, period, and let God give us the best possilbe answer."  The freedom and peace in that!

We are facing these "things" in life.   Thorns in the form of fear, doubt, guilt, need, sickness, and on and on. You know when I was faced with not being cheerleader, and that long long month in Tx. I honestly couldn't imagine it could all change within 5 minutes, but it did. Tell God your need.  But in doing so, don't you DARE forget that God is not limited by our imagination.

Joel Cochran's mom passed away last week.  For those of you who don't know, Joel and his wife are our choir directors.  Joel's mom's funeral was Saturday.  Saturday morning I got up and felt, well....extremely anxious.  I couldn't put my finger on why.  But I spent the entire morning feeling as if I was going to burst into tears.  Just a heavy and burdened heart.  Mark came home, and took Chloe and Hannah to climb Crowder's Mtn. while I attended the funeral.  Which, you might think is what made me stressed, but I was already there.  Towards the end of the funeral, you could hear this small sort of buzzing sound.  It didn't really cause alarm though.  Then the funeral was dismissed, and as we were walking out you could hear sirens, and they sounded very close.  Turns out they were.  We stepped outside and saw a huge fire ball.  At that point, no one could determine what was going on.  Semi-panic set in, at least for me.  Just because now the focus had went from they burial of Joel's mother, to whatever this fire was.  After a few minutes we could tell it was a car on fire, then it was determined it was 2 cars on fire.  Then the unthinkable.  We found out the fires had been set.  A sick feeling set in.  How could anyone do this?? At a funeral home?  It was sick, and it made everyone there sick.  We were getting ready to leave, and Roger told members of our church that someone needed to stay because one of the cars was Mike Johnson's!  Mike is the education minister at our church.   It was a terrible thing, that for those I spoke with, as well as myself, just proves the evil days we are living in that we believe will end soon. 

Sunday was a very exciting day for me.  We started the Treasure Principle study at church.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for those who adhere to this teaching.  It was sort of funny.  Roger was going from class to class at probably 9:40 or maybe a bit later to make sure everyone was ready to begin.  He came to my class.  "How many do you guys have?"  "Right now.  0."  He left and I kinda felt defeated.  But, by the time class was done with, we had 11.  Then the teaching was carried over into our service, and just furthered the truth God desires to reveal to us all.  This life is short.  This life is not it.  In fact this life is nothing compared to eternity.  Greed is driven by the need to be fulfilled, but the refusal to be fulfilled by the right thing. 

I told this story to my class yesterday.  Last week, I had to leave early one day to get gas for my car.  I told Chloe when I woke her that morning that we had to leave early.  She brushed her hair, got dressed, and did everything else that morning without the sense of urgency I had to leave early.  But, I repeatedly warned her throughout the morning, to hurry.  I came down stairs and announced it was time to go.  "Already.  I haven't eaten but 2 bites of cereal."  She cried.  I felt terrible.  But, there was honestly nothing I could do.  I'd warned her repeatedly. 

We are warned in God's Word about not giving. And we are also told in His Word the benefits.  So, we can wait and have nothing to show for it and cry.  But we won't be able to say The Righteous Judge didn't warn us. 

Luke 14:33"Simply put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can't be my disciple

Last night during Vision we talked about fighting for Jesus.  My question was, have you done it???  What happened??  Jimmy Harwell talked about an athiest that he'd had a debate with years back.  She'd asked him how he believed in a God he couldn't see.  His reply to her, "Do you feel the wind during a wind storm?  You can't see that, but you know it's there."  He talked about that for a while, and he really gave good examples of how to proclaim Christ to those who just want to detabe about it.  I sort of found it interesting that the discussion had been about a God that she felt you couldn't see.  It's interesting because now Jimmy is living that truth in a very real way.  Jimmy is blind.  His blindness started as an adult.  I'm encouraged to see that after the initial shock, he sorted through the mud of doubt, and felt wind of the spirit even though he could no longer see it.  If you see Jimmy in church you always see Mr. G.  Mr. G is Jimmy's guide dog.  You can't pet Mr. G when he's working, so as tempting as it is, you just can't.  But Mr. G allows Jimmy to be more independent.  Last night as we were leaving class, Jimmy was in front of me.  The were double doors and one side was closed.  I didn't even think to warn Jimmy, but really I didn't have to.  He tapped into the door, and just made his way around, it was no big deal.  I thought about the faith it takes to do that.  But, really there's two choices.  One, stay home, be afraid and do nothing.  Two, prepare to the best of your ability, and live your life.  Jimmy has chosen the latter.

Hebrews 11: 1-2The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see. The act of faith is what distinguished our ancestors, set them above the crowd.  3By faith, we see the world called into existence by God's word, what we see created by what we don't see. 4By an act of faith, Abel brought a better sacrifice to God than Cain. It was what he believed, not what he brought, that made the difference. That's what God noticed and approved as righteous. After all these centuries, that belief continues to catch our notice.  5-6By an act of faith, Enoch skipped death completely. "They looked all over and couldn't find him because God had taken him." We know on the basis of reliable testimony that before he was taken "he pleased God." It's impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.  7By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn't see, and acted on what he was told. The result? His family was saved. His act of faith drew a sharp line between the evil of the unbelieving world and the rightness of the believing world. As a result, Noah became intimate with God.8-10By an act of faith, Abraham said yes to God's call to travel to an unknown place that would become his home. When he left he had no idea where he was going. By an act of faith he lived in the country promised him, lived as a stranger camping in tents. Isaac and Jacob did the same, living under the same promise. Abraham did it by keeping his eye on an unseen city with real, eternal foundations—the City designed and built by God.  11-12By faith, barren Sarah was able to become pregnant, old woman as she was at the time, because she believed the One who made a promise would do what he said. That's how it happened that from one man's dead and shriveled loins there are now people numbering into the millions.

What kind of life would Jimmy have if he said, "I'm too scared of a guide dog.  It won't work."?  Or what kind of life would Jimmy have if he didn't utilitize Mr. G.  If he just said, I'm only going to use him in case of an emergency"?  This is the life of the majority of Christians I believe.  Including me.   We shake in fear, or at best say "I'll use my faith, but only in case of emergency." 

When's the last time you heard from God and acted on it?  Has it been a while?  My prayer is that we'll hear from Him today and ACT.  Not wait, and think, and ask opinions.  That we'll show Him we believe Him. 

Dear God,

Please intervene in our lives.  Please Holy Spirit offer up the prayer that needs to be prayed that we don't even know how to articulate.  God please show your might when we believe you can, 'cause we know before we believe you won't.

Thank you God.

Amen

I wrote this yesterday

I Am Here by: Regina Pasour (BMI)

Their brother had been sick

But they’d held to the faith

Because they knew the One

That could take it all away

And they kept on believing

Till he drew his final breath

They thought one thing would happen… but instead

Martha went out to meet Him

As she heard Him approach

And told Him how they’d waited

But now they’d lost their hope

Her sister joined them

And both Mary and Martha said

Lord, if you’d been here, he wouldn’t be dead… and he said

I am here. I am now. And you don’t have to wait until the end to see

I am near.  I allow, some things so you’ll know you can count on Me

It hurts at this moment, but I won’t leave your side

Until this passes over, and every tear’s been cried

Until you’re with Me, in eternity, I am here

The sisters knew that Jesus

Could call up to his Dad

And Jesus felt the pain

That everyone that day had

Dad I know you hear us

To take away the doubt

He shouted, “Lazarus come out”

You may have seen death of some sort in your life

And you may be wondering if things will be alright

Close your eyes, and let Him whisper in your ear  

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%2011:45-57&version=65

How did the "church people" miss what Jesus had done and who He was??  I said this to my class Sunday, "Jesus greatest adversaries were who?"  That's right those in the church.  We're willing sometimes to miss out on praise as long as we feel proper.  I'm not going to give specifics cause what goes on in Vision, stays in Vsion, but Sunday we had a blue jeans discussion.  A person in class was going to wear blue jeans, but felt it wasn't acceptable so they didn't.  Is it ok?  For alot of people, no.  But I am so totally serious, I don't for a moment think that Jesus would've looked slovenly, or dishoveled, but I'm not so sure he wouldn't have a look that was well.....not in a suit and tie.   Don't know, not claiming to, just wondering.  But even the fact the we're having this discussion shows that the more things change, the more they stay the same.  This sort of thing was a problem then, and it still is.  Well, it is if we allow it to be, and most of us do.  So, go ahead to be looking for me Sunday.  I'm telling ya now, I'm wearing jeans.  Maybe overalls next Sunday, we'll just have to wait and see.

Friday night we had our Valentine's banquet at church and it went really well.  The pictures are on the front of the church's website. www.chapelgrove.com  Each class did a skit in one form or another.  They were all really good and totally different.  Saturday morning my mom and I talked and she asked me about the dinner.  I told her it was great and the funniest skit by far was the one from Joe and Pauline's class.  I told her that Mike Beam was the funniest person from the entire night.  He was.  None of us knew.  Sunday, after morning service I went forward to hug the ladies who'd joined our fellowship.  Kathy (Mike's wife) was beside me and I commented to her that Mike was the funniest person Friday night and that I knew she'd probably already heard that.  None of us knew.  That afternoon I went home to try and gather my songs to give to Gordon Jensen who would be peforming Sunday night.  He's a singer-songwriter with some major cuts that are really beloved classics.  "Your redemption draweth nigh"  "Written in Red"  "God is bigger than any mountain" and many others.  Still none of us knew.  The phone rang and Megan told me that Jennifer Beam had collapsed and had passed away.  I was trying to think of who she was talking about.  Did I know another Jennifer, because obviously she wasn't talking about the young Jennifer who was in her 30s.  We continued to talk and she explained to me that indeed it was Jennifer.  Mike and Kathy's daughter-in-law, Mike and Judy's daughter, Victoria and Abi's mother and Lee's wife was gone.  I made some phone calls to let people know. After we made our calls,  Mark made my cd to give to Gordon(thanks honey).  The concert ministered to a hurting church left questioning the day's events,  and I have to say I was just touched by Gordon's sincerity on  God's call for his life.  I gave him my cd.  Don't know if I'll ever hear anything, but that's ok.

2 John   4-6I can't tell you how happy I am to learn that many members of your congregation are diligent in living out the Truth, exactly as commanded by the Father. But permit me a reminder, friends, and this is not a new commandment but simply a repetition of our original and basic charter: that we love each other. Love means following his commandments, and his unifying commandment is that you conduct your lives in love. This is the first thing you heard, and nothing has changed.

Roger preached Sunday morning on 2 John and something he said really stuck with me.  I'm paraphrasing, but he said that if the greatest commandment is to love, and Christ is love, and Christ is truth, that you can speak the truth and disagree but still love if you're in Him. The truth is that He is Lord and the only way, and for me to say otherwise in not the truth, which is for me antichrist, and I'm not antichrist.  So as this tragedy has occured I am ever mindful of the need to share the love of Christ, and to forge ahead in my calling, whatever that is. Because you see none us knew that one so young would be taken away on Sunday morning, but all of us know that The One will return very soon.  Please let His light shine in you today that other's can see Him in a real way!

Please lift this family up every time you think of them.  

http://www.legacy.com/gastongazette/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=103806079

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