Gigi's Blog

Last week was tough, mostly for Richard, Holly and family.  But I really saw God’s grace working through people and situations.  A big thanks to everyone who helped me do anything last week, and I know Holly and Rich feel that even more than I do.

Friday we went and just sort of hung out at the Myer’s.  At one point I said “Richard, we’re gonna go, you look so tired.”  He said “Don’t go.  It’s not like I’d sleep”.  So we stayed.  Saturday we got up and spent the day at UNCG for Fall Fest.  We didn’t buy the tickets to do the things like “eat with the chancellor” and “watch a movie under the stars”, but I was told that the entire day had plenty of activities that were free and didn’t require an advance ticket purchase.  My mom had a few restaurant gift certificates that she said we could use, so this would really help the day.  All that was good until Mark took Meagan’s car to have the front end aligned.  He had printed a coupon and dropped us off and said he’d be back in just a bit.  When the phone rang and Meagan handed it to me, Mark informed me of a host of things that were wrong, that were dangerously wrong, and the price to fix it was about 10 times more than what we’d anticipated. So the price of our day was increased greatly without advanced notice! Mark really went out of his way when he got back to pretend he was ok and not complain or act upset to Meagan, and I really appreciated it.  She internalizes and feels responsible for everything, and this would have been no different.  But Mark tried to cut up with her and lower her anxiety, and take-on the burden.  Thanks babe!! We got home about 10:00 Saturday night.

Sunday morning’s lesson was on the Great Commission.  I loved it when Roger bottom-lined it “Why do we do what we do at Chapel Grove Baptist Church?  Do we care if nothing ever happened?  Do we care if no one ever got saved?” I think that we often get so consumed with activities we have no idea why we do anything.  I think we often get so consumed with our own agendas being accomplished we don’t notice if nothing spiritual occurs.

http://www.intouch.org/site/c.dhKHIXPKIuE/b.2287431/

Last night at church we watched “One Night With The King” and I loved it.  There were several changes made for theatrical purpose, but I got very inspired.  It left me with the hope “What if today is the day for change?!  What if today I become……………..?  What if today……………………………happens to someone I love?  What if today is the break-thru for us all?”

There were times before Esther revealed herself that were full of suffering for the Jewish people.  Dreams snatched away.  Humiliation.  If things wouldn’t have gotten as desperate as they had, I’m not sure Esther would’ve been so bold.  Sometimes we have to be jolted into the realization that we must be bold for change to occur.  Sometimes we may have to do what people say can not be done for change to occur.  Sometimes we must stand up against people that horrify us if we want change to occur.  I’m talking about godly change. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=I%20Peter%204-5&version=65

Our Sunday School lesson this past week was on the parable of the 10 virgins.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2025:1-13;&version=31

Two of the points brought out were that you must be prepared and you must be ready. When I read that initially I thought “wait, those are the same”, but then as I read I really understood what this passage meant. As I told my class, when we took Meagan to college I was prepared. She was packed, classes were ready, medical exams done, parking pass bought. I thought I was ready too. But when the time came to leave, I realized I was completely prepared but in no way ready.
Janice went to be with Christ yesterday not too long after I blogged. Most things were prepared for. Funeral arrangements made. Nurses telling the family daily death was very close. But as prepared as things were, no one was ready. I’ve heard people say that this is painful but must surely bring relief. I think at some point it will, but not yet. I think those who knew Janice aren’t saddened for Janice, they’re saddened for themselves, or at least I am. I know Janice is with Christ and that is complete and total gain, but I am here without her, her friends are here without her, her children are here without her, her grandkids are here without her.
Janice was just Janice. No falsehoods about her, she didn’t know how to do that. She was never exposed to parents who told her to act happy, because she didn’t have parents. She was orphaned. She wasn’t adored by a husband. Quite the opposite. She felt earthly rejection and had a lifetime of struggle. She didn’t have all of her fingers. She worked in a textile mill and had lost some of them through an accident. She got sick probably 10 or so years ago and then very sick a few years back. She struggled at times to pay for medication that was $300+ per month and sometimes would do without her medicine. (Unless someone found out and then made sure she had it) Janice had no earthly means to pretend to be something she wasn’t. She had natural beauty. She found tremendous joy in the things that you and I take for granted. She loved flowers, and enjoyed animals and nature. She was a realist because of her hardship, but a dreamer because of her children and grandchildren. She saw right through a fake individual because she was so opposite of that in every way. She had a childlike excitement to do anything, or go anywhere. I mean anything from going on a trip, to going to a restaurant. She loved her family. Oh how much she loved them. Richard has truly suffered enormous loss. Janice was probably Richard’s biggest cheerleader and support. She wanted to hear everything he had to say. She listened because she wanted to, not out of obligation, and she was this was with everyone. She loved Holly so much. For the first several years of marriage they lived with Janice. In the midst of this Rebekah was born. I have no idea how Janice mentored Holly into the wife she is when she had been through such struggle, but she did. As I said Rebekah lived with Janice for several years, and it was wonderful. You don’t hear many success stories in these living situations-but this was. Rachel was born and they moved, but those two were with her constantly. Janice played Barbie’s and read stories and told stories and did the things that most of us grown-ups only do with kids so they’ll leave us alone. She lived to play with her grandkids. They were her life, not something on a to-do list. Rebekah was with Janice when she left earth and God knew this was exactly right. Rebekah and Goudy had a very special bond because of her being there from infancy. Richard hadn’t made it back to the house yet, and Rebekah was there and Janice knew it. I think Janice found it too difficult to leave with Richard there, but Rebekah was part of Richard. And apparently at the sound of her sweet little voice, Janice died.
So as I said we were not ready, but it has happened. Do you have un-readiness about something?? Salvation? Unforgiveness?? ………………………..You fill in the blank. If you read the story about the ten virgins, when the call came, there was no time to change anything. There are many things in my life that I’m not ready for, but that doesn’t mean they won’t happen.

Proverbs 21:31 Do your best, prepare for the worst—
then trust God to bring victory.
God is merciful even in death. The Beauty Within Seminar was wonderful. It was 100% God. He knew that if Janice died that week it would change what has been something that impacted people’s lives. He knew if Janice died the day after The Beauty Within, the exhaust for Holly and Richard would be overwhelming. Those little details, He knows every one and He cares.

Be prepared. Be ready.

http://www.legacy.com/gastongazette/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=117872379

Go to the bottom of Janice's obituary if you'd like to sign the guestbook.  I know the family would appreciate it. 

I’ve tried off and on to blog since my last blog and that has been a very long time ago.  Normally when I’ve had a pause in my blogging (I think the longest has been a week) I can somehow hit the high points and catch you up on everything.  I can’t do that this time.  Too much has gone on. 

But to try and let you know the necessary………………………………

1. There’s been a layoff at work
2. Rich and Holly are waiting for Goudy to pass
3. I’m overwhelmed

I have not been let go at work. Ashley D. has.  This means I’m doing what she was doing.  I didn’t feel successful or confident when I did her job before, and have went into this thing with fear, and I’d have to admit (at least initially) an attitude.

One week ago the nurse said that Goudy was within hours, at the most a day or so from dying.  So her entire family has been on constant vigil since that time.  A week vigil in a hospital is extremely difficult.  But in a hospital you could say, “I’ve gotta step out for a minute.  I’m gonna grab a bite to eat.  I need to leave.”  But Goudy wanted to die at home.  So this type of thing at home is entirely different.  The family is responsible for everything.  Cleaning messes, administering medication, changing diapers, all the while trying to keep your young children up on school work and find someone to take them to soccer practice and make sure the youth is ok and figure out how to get food when you really can’t leave and plus it’s very expensive to do take-out but you can’t cook. 

I have what feels like too much going on in my life.  I tell you all the time how guilty I feel about my mothering.  I have had every night packed for the last two weeks.  Some things are out of necessity, some are for fun.  I have a mind spinning with everything from sadness, guilt, frustration, hurt, anger, dreams, hopes, desires.  In other words I’m overwhelmed.

My mother recently said that she wished I had a more normal life for Chloe and the kids as far as scheduling and time spent together.  Boy sometimes I wish that too and when another person says it, it cuts to my core. 

I get up every day with this “UUGGHH” feeling.  I praise God and love Him and try to tell Him first thing.  I spend time in the morning praying for other people and try to pray for myself lastly.  But my prayers are always the same.   Everyday the same.  “God, get me out of this mess.  Change things.  I don’t want be this way.  Then God I can do things to the fullest.” 

I started today with a new prayer.  I did not beg God to do what I want.  I begged God to allow me to do what He wants.  To strengthen me for whatever He wants me to do today.  I believe that if I continue to say “I can’t do this.” then I won’t be able to.

Philippians 4:13 (The Message)

Content Whatever the Circumstances

 10-14I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

I spent every day telling God the same thing over and over and over and over again.  The Bible says to make your request known to God and I’ve done that.  It’s as if I thought if I didn’t remind Him every day of my life He’d forget.  He knows what I want, He knows what I need and loves me enough to help me see those two must be the same in order to find peace.

So as far as normal-my new normal may not be what people see as 1950s normal.  But if my new normal gets me closer to the greatness of God that is the only normal I want.

Glad to be at work today so I can rest.
The weekend was full, very full.  I mean the entire weekend.
Friday night was 5^th quarter at Joyful Noise.  Myra and Greg felt God leading them to offer a youth-led event after the football games on Friday nights.  I offered to help her in any way.  I absolutely love Myra.  Do you think God has a sense of humor?  See, when Myra opened the coffeehouse at Joyful Noise I was jealous.  Very jealous.  I wanted to open a Christian coffeehouse.  Holly and I.  Didn’t happen.  I just knew that Myra was stealing my dream.  Now, 3 years later I consider her a prayer partner and friend and battle warrior for Christ.  So, when she allowed me to help her Friday night in the coffeehouse, I could see God’s hand in it.  Me in a coffeehouse, but in God’s timing, in God’s way.  His plan.  Isn’t that awesome??  By the way, please come out to Joyful Noise on Friday Night.  Fifth Quarter starts at about 10:30, and they also have a concert at usually 7:00 or 8:00.  You’ll love it, just trust me.

Saturday was the community outreach and then the homeless shelter.  The community outreach was a chance to offer popcorn, and a little information on our church, and just a smile to people in the Chapel Grove area.  Anytime me and my aunt Pat are together it’s a hoot, and Saturday was no exception.  I want to offer a praise report that I didn’t’ get my arm chopped off.  There were several times when we knew that the people were not home, so Pat would just let me put the bag in their newspaper slot.  The problem-she technically didn’t stop; she’d slow down and expect me to throw the bag in.  “Pat!! What are doing??!!  I’m gonna get my arm chopped off.”  We’d bust out laughing.  We encountered a friend on our last row of people we were visiting, who at that moment I think needed a hug.  God is so wonderful.  I told Pat I believed our entire day was planned around that moment.  The shelter was next.  Pat and I went to get the other items we were going to cook, and headed to the shelter.  We made a pit stop and got me and BK Joe.  Well, we got to cooking and some people-a big group walked in.  The shelter had double booked churches to cook!! What could have turned disastrous-didn’t.  You’ve heard the saying about too many cooks in the kitchen, but that didn’t turn out to be the case.  Walnut Grove had brought an entire meal in addition to us.  So, the people ate as much as they wanted Saturday, and we made knew friends at Walnut Grove.  One man tickled me.  Now you have to realize what was on the plate: Pork chops, green beans, hot dogs, potato salad and bread.  Pretty good meal.  The guy picks up the bread and sees the pork chop underneath-“Where’s the steak??!!!” (He’s not joking)  He drops his bread and said he wanted more and so I gave it to him.  The guy who runs the shelter was worried I was offended and I told him it was totally fine.  The meal was good and there was enough left over for me to have some rice.  I love rice.

Sunday was church.  One of my favorite truths in the Bible was discussed:  That God is no respecter of persons and that the know-it-all group of old, really knew nothing- ‘cause being close to Heaven isn’t where a person wants to be.  Being close isn’t being in.  Sunday night church was Shine Night.  It was good.  So many ways of people glorifying God.  Vision planned an impromptu Tony’s trip after Sunday night church. 

Monday I slept until 10:00 and had absolutely no idea I had slept that late.  No idea.  The medicine my insurance won’t cover is out and I guess I just crashed.  So I got up and decided to try and continue to clean out Chloe’s room.  You have never seen the amount of stuff that is in that kid’s room. Her room is tiny mind you.  So I had pulled all of what looked like extra stuff out and put it in Adam’s room.  I knew better than to do this when Chloe is at home.  Everything I was going to get rid of Chloe would say “I might start playing Barbies.  I might want to start reading that book.  I might want that.”  Mark stepped in and helped me finish it up.  I realize it will take a lot of work to get my house in order.  I sure do want to. 

You know Chloe’s attitude towards things she hasn’t picked up in five years is how I see many people treating their lives with Christ.  They don’t want Him unless they decide they might want to start needing Him, or maybe some day they’ll want to start living with Him or for Him.  It doesn’t work that way.  We have a free will that’s for sure.  But that also gives us the freedom to choose the wrong path.  God is not some cotton-candy all-you-can eat county-fair experience,  when you want to go to where He is you go and spend the day and then leave.  God is not a “just in case” puppet.  He’s offended when we treat Him that way. 

Are you reading this???  Then it is not too late to tell God you want to start over.  I have to do that daily.  I mess up constantly.  But I want God to be more than a part of my life; I want God to be my life.  He loves you so much.  So much.  He just wants us to understand He loved us when we were unlovable and undeserving and to live for Him and do good works out of worship and thanksgiving. We can do this!!!

God,

Help us both today.  We’ve made mistakes.  You say you love us but we feel so unloved.  Help us to shake off the lies Satan puts before us and see the Truth and be set free.

Amen. 

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs%202;&version=65;

• Main
• archives
• Albums
• Links
• Admin
• Send us a story!

• My belly hurts, I mean stomach
• You don't get it
• Does God Hate??
• Pickles and Ice Cream not needed??
• Shouldn't be doing this
• If you see a bear-don't run
• Just Listen
• Just Listen

• General [134]

• RSS 0.90
• RSS 1.0
• RSS 2.0
• Atom