Gigi's Blog

Portion Un-Control

visioncgbc | July 15, 2008 08:23

Well I sit here with a half-eaten can of Pringles Salt & Vinegar.  If you know me at all, you know that I LOVE to eat.  Mark really hit the nail on the head last week about me.  He said “Gina, you are you’re Mamaw.  You are a 36 yr. old grandmother about wanting to cook and everybody to eat, whether they want to or not.”  He is 100% right.  My Mamaw Dee wasn’t educated, but had a lot of godly wisdom, she had a heart for the needy and faith that God could do anything.  Now I’m not saying I’m all that she was, but my heart (I do believe) is in tune with the way her heart was.  Mamaw always struggled with her weight, because her favorite place was in the kitchen cooking for people she loved, or sittin’ round the table with coffee and dessert with the people she loved.  As I said, I am very much like her.  So I guess I’m trying to justify this Pringles thing.  After I had already decided  I was going to eat as many Pringles as I wanted, I glanced at the portion size.  I laughed internally.  The can says 6 serving per container.  15 crisps per serving.  Ha!Ha!Ha!  Portion size for who??  I don't live in munchkinz-land.  So I said “forget this, I’m eatin’ what I want.  And that’s what I’ve done.  Now I’m at that stage of  questioning.  “Why did I do that?  Why did I not do that?”  I’ve been doing better about my eating, and had really done good at Fuge and since, but last night started my decline.  I had a few guests- Rachel, Rebekah, Holly, Megan, plus my own Meagan Adam and Chloe.  So as we sat around, I grazed like a cow at pasture.  Then today, even though I’m not even supposed to eat for minimum 30 minutes after I take my medicine, within about 10 of taking it I was eating Pringles (before 9:00 am!!)  I hate it when I do this.  I’m in the wrong.  I know that I’m in the wrong. I feel gross and disgusting. 

Psalm 103

 1-2 O my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I'll bless his holy name!
   O my soul, bless God,
      don't forget a single blessing!

 3-5 He forgives your sins—every one.
      He heals your diseases—every one.
      He redeems you from hell—saves your life!
      He crowns you with love and mercy—a paradise crown.
      He wraps you in goodness—beauty eternal.
      He renews your youth—you're always young in his presence.

 6-18 God makes everything come out right;
      he puts victims back on their feet.
   He showed Moses how he went about his work,
      opened up his plans to all Israel.
   God is sheer mercy and grace;
      not easily angered, he's rich in love.
   He doesn't endlessly nag and scold,
      nor hold grudges forever.
   He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve,
      nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
   As high as heaven is over the earth,
      so strong is his love to those who fear him.
   And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
      he has separated us from our sins.
   As parents feel for their children,
      God feels for those who fear him.
   He knows us inside and out,
      keeps in mind that we're made of mud.
   Men and women don't live very long;
      like wildflowers they spring up and blossom,
   But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly,
      leaving nothing to show they were here.
   God's love, though, is ever and always,
      eternally present to all who fear him,
   Making everything right for them and their children
      as they follow his Covenant ways
      and remember to do whatever he said. 

Have you done something today and are faced with the reality of it?  Maybe you’re in financial disaster because you put yourself there.  Maybe you have heart disease because you ate too much grease.  Maybe you have ugly hair because you’re never satisfied with it, and now it’s all fried. (That was for the ladies)  Maybe you have a sprained back because you tried to look tough and do something that you really weren’t physically able to do (that was for men)  My sins are my fault.  Many of the situations I find myself in today are my fault.  Sometimes I feel so ashamed to be me.  But today I have hope and you can too.  God wants us both to realize that our life truly is saved under his love.  He knows that when He rescues us in unexplainable ways in an outpouring of generous mercy, we realize that we truly can not say it was us.  Sometimes he allows us and things to get really bad so that we can realize we really are bad-outside of Him.  The hope is that at those times we realize that nothing about us caused a good thing to happen. 

I had a situation recently that seemed to be improved.  I tried to think of what I had done to change that situation.  I truly couldn’t come up with any tangible thing.  My prayer time about it hadn’t changed.  I wasn’t any more committed than I had been.  I just couldn’t say that anything had been different and I think maybe for this first time I realized that  God wants me to understand  “God is sheer mercy and grace;
      not easily angered, he's rich in love.”  And I did understand.  If we could achieve peace and happiness and a fruitful life strictly on the basis of what we do to achieve it, then our focus would be on our own strength.  So God allows us to fall, and then through his sheer mercy and grace, helps us.  The bi-product is the desire to do things to tell God we love him, and show it by our actions. 

I remember a while back that I was struggling and wrestling with this.  I wanted to be able to give a person a 3 bulleted outline of how to obtain God’s mercy.  But when I had gotten from point A. (the problem), to point B. (the answer), I was left with confusion.  It was like “OK, I went through all this and now its better, so what?  How did I get here?  What did I do get here?  What can I share with people?”  But the “so what” is this: There’s no certain amount of steps that GUARANTEE you’ll get any prayer answered, or that this or that will happen (I believe).  What I realized is that my life is totally in the hands of God.  It shows who he is when he takes a person who is in a really bad situation, even when it is of their own making, especially of their own making, and says “If you ask, I’ll forgive you. I’m gonna get you out of this mess, if you want my help.”  We must accept God’s love and want his help for us to receive this undeserved goodness. I’m not saying your help with be any certain thing, but I am saying God will be your help.  This concept is contrary to popular belief.  Popular belief says “Anything YOU set your mind to you can achieve.”  Popular belief says “You got yourself into this mess.  Now you have to get yourself out of it.”  Popular belief says “God helps those who help themselves.” Popular belief says a lot of things.  Just remember…………..Jesus wasn’t popular, and we won’t be either.      

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