Gigi's Blog

Today is awards day at Chloe's school.  And just so you'll know, she's improperly dressed.  She has on a short sleeve (gasp) shirt.  She only has a few long sleeved shirts, and didn't like any.  I told her she could wear her school shirt, but she didn't like that.  So she picked out a shirt and some jeans and I said "ok".  Please oh please don't tell Nanny Vickie.  Awards start at 1:30, which may prevent her from attending because of soemthing or other at her work.  So, I may get by with this.  Meagn needs me to pick up some pictures for her at WalMart and wants me to bring them to her school.  Don't know yet if I can pull that one off.  Just have to see.  I have no socks.  The only socks I ever have are the white ones in the multi-pack.  So, if I need something thin or dress socks, I always go through Meagan or Chloe's and "borrow" their seasonal socks.  So, my socks today are Chloe's Easter bunny socks.  No.  I'm not kidding.  Yesterday they were Chloe's Ked socks that didn't even match.  No.  I'm not kidding.

LIfe is so crazy sometimes isn't it?  So stressed.  Sometimes it's unfair.  Do you ever tell God how you really feel?  I mean he knows anyway, right?  When your circumstances aren't right, or what you want, if you follow Christ, don't you know that He can change them?  We often blame others for what God is in full control of.  I read Psalm 88 this morning, and said "wow!"  

Psalm 88

 1-9 God, you're my last chance of the day. I spend the night on my knees before you.
   Put me on your salvation agenda;
      take notes on the trouble I'm in.
   I've had my fill of trouble;
      I'm camped on the edge of hell.
   I'm written off as a lost cause,
      one more statistic, a hopeless case.
   Abandoned as already dead,
      one more body in a stack of corpses,
   And not so much as a gravestone—
      I'm a black hole in oblivion.
   You've dropped me into a bottomless pit,
      sunk me in a pitch-black abyss.
   I'm battered senseless by your rage,
      relentlessly pounded by your waves of anger.
   You turned my friends against me,
      made me horrible to them.
   I'm caught in a maze and can't find my way out,
      blinded by tears of pain and frustration.

 9-12 I call to you, God; all day I call.
      I wring my hands, I plead for help.
   Are the dead a live audience for your miracles?
      Do ghosts ever join the choirs that praise you?
   Does your love make any difference in a graveyard?
      Is your faithful presence noticed in the corridors of hell?
   Are your marvelous wonders ever seen in the dark,
      your righteous ways noticed in the Land of No Memory?

 13-18 I'm standing my ground, God, shouting for help,
      at my prayers every morning, on my knees each daybreak.
   Why, God, do you turn a deaf ear?
      Why do you make yourself scarce?
   For as long as I remember I've been hurting;
      I've taken the worst you can hand out, and I've had it.
   Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life;
      I'm bleeding, black-and-blue.
   You've attacked me fiercely from every side,
      raining down blows till I'm nearly dead.
   You made lover and neighbor alike dump me;
      the only friend I have left is Darkness.

I love that last line:  the only friend I have left is Darkness. 

We all have seasons of darkness.  Often times people who don't go through or have forgotten about going through tell you to get over it on your own.  But I know better, and you should too. 

I had the best weekend I've had in quite a long time.  I thank God for it.  I do.  Friday night Mark asked me if i wanted to meet him and Chloe and grab dinner.  I said OK, but I felt so tired.  The entire week last week was just really exhausting.  I didn't do anything major, I'm just tired and felt a bit overwhelmed.  Ok, alot overwhelmed.  But Friday Mark has straightened the house up, and was determined to do everything he could to make my weekend great, and he succeeded.  Saturday morning I could've slept late, but Chloe's alarm for school went off and woke me, but that was fine.  Just to know I didn't have to go anywhere or do anything was great.  Rebekah was going to come over to spend the night with Chloe, and Holly called sort of last minute and asked about she and I taking all the girls to see a movie and maybe dinner.  We did.  It was just a great night.  Holly and I haven't really hung out in a while, and it was great.  She asked me what I'd learned most about everything I've been through lately.  I told her I thought lessons on forgiving.  But later on I though more about it, and realized another lesson I've learned is on trials and struggles.  I used to think in life we just went from struggle to struggle to struggle, and that was life.  But I now believe that God's plan is struggles that he delivers us from, trials with Him and answers for life heartache and pain.  I'm not suggesting everything in my life will always turn out the way I want it to, but I trust now that if it's in God's plan it's the best for my life.  So Sat. night was fun to be with my BFF, and then got home and Mark had went to the store per my list and bought some groceries.  He was a real sweetie the entire weekend, and I'm telling you not only did I notice, I felt like queen for the weekend, and very cared for, and it meant so much. 

Last night's Vision was very interesting and very good.  My lesson took some unexpected twists and turns that I wasn't prepared for, but really has given my some topics to prepare for.  I now know how Roger must feel when someone asks him an out of the blue question, other than I'm sure he can answer much better and quicker than I can.

My lesson was on choosing sides.

I Chronicles 12:16-18 16 Other Benjamites and some men from Judah also came to David in his stronghold. 17 David went out to meet them and said to them, "If you have come to me in peace, to help me, I am ready to have you unite with me. But if you have come to betray me to my enemies when my hands are free from violence, may the God of our fathers see it and judge you." 18 Then the Spirit came upon Amasai, chief of the Thirty, and he said:   "We are yours, O David! 
We are with you, O son of Jesse!  Success, success to you, and success to those who help you,   for your God will help you."  So David received them and made them leaders of his raiding bands

David was basically drawing the battle lines, and forcing these men to decide. I had bring up something I'd read a few chapters earlier, I Chronicles 10:13  Saul died because he was unfaithful to the LORD; he did not keep the word of the LORD and even consulted a medium for guidance. I think there's alot of this going on, well any is too much.  We toy around with new age junk, and call it a gray area.  Not. The bottom line is committment.  You can't be on both teams.  You're either on the team of Jesus or you're not.  It's that simple, even though it seems complicated.  He's our coach.  He tells us our position and which plays we will make.  Choose your team today.  But keep in mind, we already know who wins.

I just got back from my urologist.  We scheduled my test for 2 weeks from today.  They will remove my stent and then shoot some dye in and he'll know if my ureter damage is healed.  I'll be down that weekend.  But  I should be OK by Monday.  The surgery scheduler looked at me as she was scheduling this and said "I remember you."  I giggled and she did too.  Because what she really meant was "You're the one who I went to all the trouble to schedule surgery for who came in on the day of your pre-op and cancelled your surgery." I'm praying for a miracle.  For so many reasons.  I mean look, I'm not gonna lie about it, I want to be healed for my own sake!  But, also it will be such a testimony for all these people who say 1 to 2 percent chance to see me be that 1 pecent. 

You know it's so easy in life to become complacent.  I'm tolerating my stent pretty good, I'm trying to readjust to working, therefore the constant prayfullness for my healing sometimes has been forgotten.  But now I'm awake to my total need and dependecy on him.  As I was sitting in that office this morning, I realized that He is the great physician.  I realized that a Tylenol wouldn't even help a headache without Him.

Well, I don't want to rob my readers of the joy and laughter at my daily life, so today:

1. My still coughing child went to school with the equivalent of a windbreaker because she refuses to wear a coat.

2. My house has been left in a total mess every day since I went back to work, and Mark has resumed his Mr. Mom position in life.

3. We had to pay $110.00 (that's right, I'm not kidding) to the school so that Meagan can have a Sr. ad just like all the other kids.  I mean we can do without heat and food for a few days, right?

4.I'm still dreaming and hoping and praying for all things new.

Revelation 21

Everything New

 1I saw Heaven and earth new-created. Gone the first Heaven, gone the first earth, gone the sea. 2I saw Holy Jerusalem, new-created, descending resplendent out of Heaven, as ready for God as a bride for her husband. 3-5I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: "Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They're his people, he's their God. He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone." The Enthroned continued, "Look! I'm making everything new. Write it all down—each word dependable and accurate."

Trunk or treat, trick or treat, happy not-halloween?  We had our first ever trunk or treat last night.  I loved it, and I'll tell you why.  It lasted from 6:00 to 7:30, we reached alot of people and there was no major clean up involving me!  I was late (as usual) but Mark and my class had things under control.  I don't think there was any down time during the entire thing.  Vision had made up bags to invite anyone we thought might be a potential class member.  I think my favorite costumes of the night were the boxers with the black eyes.  Chloe decided that she'd wear one of her ballet outfits, and that was fine with me.  We didn't have to buy anything.  She seemed like she had a really good time, and I was very thankful, because the night before she was pretty sick.  When we got home last night she had to finish her book, and do homework.   She has to read a book for A.R. every day, and if they don't they get silent lunch.  Can you believe that!  The other night when she was so sick she'd had to take a nap, she woke up crying because she had to read a book.  I told her I'd send a note, but she said it didn't matter she'd still get silent lunch.  I became a lil' "fleshly" in that moment.  School's are gettting tougher and tougher, even for lil' ones.  But she read her book that night, and read it last night.  I guess she's like her mom, and the thoughts of not talking are a strong motivator.

You know last night is sort of a "shot in the dark".  We're giving out candy, telling people God loves them, inviting to church.  Not knowing what will come out of it.  But we did our part, that's the thing.  We're not responsible for their reaction, but we are responible for our action.

 The Story of the Seeds

 4-8As they went from town to town, a lot of people joined in and traveled along. He addressed them, using this story: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. Some of it fell on the road; it was tramped down and the birds ate it. Other seed fell in the gravel; it sprouted, but withered because it didn't have good roots. Other seed fell in the weeds; the weeds grew with it and strangled it. Other seed fell in rich earth and produced a bumper crop.    "Are you listening to this? Really listening?"  9His disciples asked, "Why did you tell this story?" 10He said, "You've been given insight into God's kingdom—you know how it works. There are others who need stories. But even with stories some of them aren't going to get it: 
   Their eyes are open but don't see a thing,    Their ears are open but don't hear a thing.  11-12"This story is about some of those people. The seed is the Word of God. The seeds on the road are those who hear the Word, but no sooner do they hear it than the Devil snatches it from them so they won't believe and be saved.  13"The seeds in the gravel are those who hear with enthusiasm, but the enthusiasm doesn't go very deep. It's only another fad, and the moment there's trouble it's gone. 14"And the seed that fell in the weeds—well, these are the ones who hear, but then the seed is crowded out and nothing comes of it as they go about their lives worrying about tomorrow, making money, and having fun.  15"But the seed in the good earth—these are the good-hearts who seize the Word and hold on no matter what, sticking with it until there's a harvest.

We were spreading seed last night, unsure of exactly the type of ground it would fall on.  But that's ok.  Some may suffer the fate of the seeds in the Bible story, but some may bring about a harvest beyond our wildest dreams! 

 See people today through the eyes of God.  Don't count someoby out just because you don't see a ripe well-oiled Christian Machine. It gives God glory to change a person.  If it didn't-why go to the cross? 

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