Gigi's Blog

Well, the arguments have started.  Every year at this time my young daughter tells me that coats and jackets are not necessary for people unless they are going to be outside for extended periods of time.  I'm not sure if I totally disagree, or if I just care that people think "What kind of momma are you, not making your daughter (who is sick) wear a coat?"  But it gets so old, sometimes I just give up.  We compromised on a hoodie, which I don't even think is a compromise, that's me giving in, because a hoodie isn't a jacket.  I'll admit though I don't have true temperature gauging.  I'd say that my body temp is 10 degree less than normal.  She wanted to wear her East Elementary hoodie over her NC State jersey.  Well, we couldn't find it.  So, I started going through her closet and said "Why don't you wear you Duke hoodi?  It's pink, it matches.  She says "That makes no sense. I have on a Chapel Hill shirt."  But, she decides that sense Mark has a house divided tag on his truck, that she'll just have a house divided outfit on.  She's so smart and quick-witted.  Reverse psychology doesn't work on Chloe.  It never has. 

Last night Meagan attempts to apply to UNCG.  Well, she and I trying to do this-not a good idea.  She's to busy crying to do it, and I'm not smart enough to do it.  We click "send" and really shouldn't have.  I give it to Mark to add another what seems like billion dollar's worth of bills needing to be sent.  He's looking over it and informs me that we have applied for her to attend UNCG in Spring 2008.  Well great!  Now what do we do?!  Mark says he'll handle that part, and I've got to call the school and get her GPA.  She really needs to take the SAT again in Dec. , but the registration in by (I think) tomorrow.  Cap and Gown and announcements, and senior portraits, and college apps is alot.  I guess we forgot even though it's only been 1 year since we did all this. 

But I know that God has a plan for all of this.  Coats and college and careers and everything else.  I sometimes read Purpose Driven Life as a devotion.  So today I read day 30, which talks about our SHAPE for servanthood.  It was something I needed to re-read.  We were all created differently with intension and purpose in mind.  I mean academically-forget it!  Cooking-yes, songwriting-yes, teaching-yes.  There are other things I'm shaped for.  But the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not you, and God doesn't want me to be you.  You aren't me, and God doesn't want you to be me.  I'm trying to thank God that he created the both of us to be exactly who he wanted us to be.  Don't you find comfort in that?!  Boy I do.  Because this whole trying to become an entirely different person is not only tiring, it's useless and impossible. 

So my goal is to be the best me I can be-jacket and all!

Your hands shaped me and made me

Job 10:8

Friend Day was yesterday and it was just protected and blessed and successful because of the Hand of God.  I never got the count for 11:00 service, but Sunday School had over 500!  Vision had 20 people!  That's the most we've ever had, and I was really excited as well as our regular attendees. Roger looked totally releaxed and peaceful during the lunch!  Like he had the peace of God on his face. 

Yesterday during his sermon he referenced the story of Abraham and Isaac.  That reference ministered to me I think more than anything else.  I realized that sometimes to get to God's best we have to be willing to go through tests and struggles that make no sense, and at times may even cause us to question things.  

Genesis 22 

1 After all this, God tested Abraham. God said, "Abraham!""Yes?" answered Abraham. "I'm listening."  He said, "Take your dear son Isaac whom you love and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains that I'll point out to you." 3-5 Abraham got up early in the morning and saddled his donkey. He took two of his young servants and his son Isaac. He had split wood for the burnt offering. He set out for the place God had directed him. On the third day he looked up and saw the place in the distance. Abraham told his two young servants, "Stay here with the donkey. The boy and I are going over there to worship; then we'll come back to you."  6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and gave it to Isaac his son to carry. He carried the flint and the knife. The two of them went off together.  7 Isaac said to Abraham his father, "Father?"    "Yes, my son."    "We have flint and wood, but where's the sheep for the burnt offering?"  8 Abraham said, "Son, God will see to it that there's a sheep for the burnt offering." And they kept on walking together.  9-10 They arrived at the place to which God had directed him. Abraham built an altar. He laid out the wood. Then he tied up Isaac and laid him on the wood. Abraham reached out and took the knife to kill his son.  11 Just then an angel of God called to him out of Heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"  "Yes, I'm listening." 12 "Don't lay a hand on that boy! Don't touch him! Now I know how fearlessly you fear God; you didn't hesitate to place your son, your dear son, on the altar for me

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I can't tell you how many times I've declard at 10:30 at night when I'm stuffed from overeating that I've said ,"Tomorrow I'm going to go on a diet." I can't tell you how many times when I'm falling asleep in prayer at night I've said "Tomorrow I'm going to pray better."  I can't tell you how many times I haven't reached out to someones in love and said "Next time, I will."  God isn't looking for next times, and hypotheticals in proving our faith. We're tested, just like the Bible says, and the purpose is that we will be found faithful. What happens when I'm hungry, or have an opportunity to pray, or have a new chance to show God's love, will I follow through?  It's easy for me to say next time I will, but in my heart I know that to be found faithful, the answer is: This time I will. 

Don't make your eternal goal just to "get in" Heaven.  You have from this moment forward to live in the fullness of Christ.What are you waitin' for!

I know what I was doin' 18 years ago at this moment.  Experiencing labor pain.  That's right, Meagan is 18 today.  None of us can believe it.  It seems like about a day ago she puttered around and could barely talk.  I think one of my funniest memories is when she was in 3rd I received a phone call from her teacher.  "Mrs. Pasour, I just wanted to ask you if you signed Meagan's folder today?"  I told her that I'd forgotten.  She said "OK good.  Because I was going to tell you that if you'd signed it, you'd mispelled your own name."  In other words, Meagan signed it for me.  It cost her conduct points, but I laugh when I think about it.  You know God has molded her into a very caring person.  People always say "You don't look old enough to be her mom."  Well, it's because I"m not.  I was  teenage mom.  I always think new people who don't me are trying to figure in their head if that's what happened.  I've been through alot, and so has Meagan.  I will always believe the ones to suffer most from divorce are children.  You'll never convince me otherwise.  But today, we're not thinking about all that.  We're going to celebrate her life. We got her a camera, and Mark cooked a huge breakfast for her, which neither of us had time to take one bite of.  It was a stressful morning with Chloe, because she didn't like the jacket I picked out for her, and didn't like the fact that I didn't have time to go back in and get another one.  She had a stomach attack last night and I think she's very tired and grumpy because of that.  I didn't even know until this morning that this happened.  Mark got up with her, and I didn't even hear.  I was extremely tired last night. I'd decided I was going to eat dinner when I got home from church, but was too tired.  So, I didn't eat, I just went to bed. The house was left in a total mess this morning, and I was still late!  I would say back to normal, but oh how I don't want this to be my normal.

Last night during Vision one of my class members shared some concerns about being a young mom, with a young child and guilt she feels about different things.  I was then able to share with her that I was a teenage mom, and understand the struggles.  It seemed to help her somewhat that I could say, "I know exactly where you're coming from."

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Alot of people don't talk about their past, because people who didn't know them during that time might look down on them when they find out how they were. But I know that God wants me to be a tool of encouragement and hope, especially to young mothers who are where I've been.

Is there a part of your past that might help bring a change in someone's future?  I know it might be tough to "expose" yourself, but like the apostle Paul, people will open up when you can relate to their struggle.

 I Timothy: 12-14I'm so grateful to Christ Jesus for making me adequate to do this work. He went out on a limb, you know, in trusting me with this ministry. The only credentials I brought to it were invective and witch hunts and arrogance. But I was treated mercifully because I didn't know what I was doing—didn't know Who I was doing it against! Grace mixed with faith and love poured over me and into me. And all because of Jesus.  15-19Here's a word you can take to heart and depend on: Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners. I'm proof—Public Sinner Number One—of someone who could never have made it apart from sheer mercy. And now he shows me off—evidence of his endless patience—to those who are right on the edge of trusting him forever.

You see the apostle Paul had a past, and he could have chosen to not speak about it.  But he knew when he said "I was the worst sinner" people would see how far Christ had brought him. 

If you've got a story that needs to be told, then tell it.  If you've been forgiven of your past by Christ, but are worried that others won't forgive, then they don't get it anyway. It's so tiring to try and act perfect, and I can't, because I'm not. 

I'm going to start this blog from today and then go backwards.  I'm doing this in order to ensure you read the entire long blog.  Don't quit reading before the end.  That's where the good stuff is.

I'm back at work today.  I never thought I'd ever say I'd be glad to be at work.  But, I couldn't wait to get here and suprise everyone.  And it's been so fun to see the shock.  I'm feeling good today, really better than yesterday.  I think my body needed more fluids than I'd taken in over the past few days, so yesterday afternoon I really tried to drink tons of water.

I went to the Dr. yesterday.  It was the first time I've seen the Dr. who performed my surgery since he did my post-op and thought everything was fine, when it actually was not.  I prayed alot before hand and even up until the moment  I saw him, that I would show the love of Christ.  I didn't want to have the attitude that I was a wonderful person because I wanted to forgive him.   I prayed that if he acted like nothing happened that God would help me be ok with that.  He walked in and was devestated.  He apoligized at least 20 times.  None of the Dr.s that I've seen throughout this would admit to any wrong doing.  But he didn't try to dance around what happened.  He told me he knew what he'd done.  He said that he had stitched my ureter and my unbearable pain was because of the stitch.  I can't tell you what peace I had in finally know exactly what had happened.  He continue to tell me how sorry he was and I said "We all make mistakes."  I told him that my prayer had been that through this situation it might prevent anyone else from going through this.  He told me that he was going to pray for me.  I honestly don't know how close of  relationship he has with Christ, but I thought "How cool if out of this it caused him to have a closer walk with the Lord!"

Now to the best part of the story.  Things that I consider amazing happened at the conference last weekend.  First of all-me even going! When I arrived I found Sue to let her know I'd made it.  It took her several minutes to even realize it was me.  I got about a million hugs from everybody over the weekend, and anybody who knew me was in total shock that I made it.  The first thing when I walked in the door I had a meeting with what I consider a major publisher.  I had no time to print all my lyrics, just the three songs I was taking.  He asked me some questions about me and my songwriting.  He asked me if he could see some of my lyrics.  I only had 1 song available to show him, because he didn't want to see the songs I was entering in the competition.  He asked me if I'd SING it to him!!  I did.  He told me I had a gift, and needed to pursue songwrting.  He also matched me up with a new friend who lives in Raleigh. He said he feels like we'd be a really good co-writing team.  So, I'm looking forward to that.  I then took that same song to a critique.  It got very good feedback, and I heard again that this was a good song.  It needed some minor changes.  So during my next class I was so obsessed with rewriting it, I struggled to pay attention as I rewrote the song.  Saturday was the competition.  Keep in mind that the song I entered was done on Chloe's karaoke cassette player with no music.  But, that was all I had.  The judges for my group consisted of a seasoned writer, and an up and coming performer/writer.  The songs in my group were really good.  When my song was played I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be.  After it played they both said they really liked the song.  Words were used like "strong payoff" and those are words you want to hear.  I was glad when it was over and ready to finish my day.  That night before supper I prayed "Lord, I'm praying that I will place, and that I will leave with a substantial contact."  Because it had been made clear that it's a no-no to try to contact them afterwards or to assume that you can just go to Nashville to visit them. They will contact you, or invite you, or reach out to you.  My group was #1, and of all things they started with the last group instead of the first!  So, finally they got to group #1.  The third place winner was announced.  When that happened I felt pretty sure that I didn't place because of the order I had the songs in my mind.  Then they said it "And second place goes to..........Regina Pasour!"  I think I was clapping more than those in the audience.  Sue said "I have to tell you the miracle of Gina being here."  Then everyone got really excited.  Prayer #1-answered.  After the other awards and the grand prize, everyone was going around talking to people.  I went up to my 2 judges and thanked them both for the boost this award was in my confidence.  The 2nd judge I thanked told me my song was very strong, and told me he believes it could get cut after some minor changed.  He then said "I'd love to hear it when you get it demo'd.  Do you have a pen?  I'll give you my e-mail address."  Prayer #2-answered!  Then Sat. night we went to a local coffeehouse, and some people sang.  It was a dream that was real.  

My demo is scheduled for Nov. 5th.  I didn't want to wait, and my Dad told me he's gonna send me a lil' money to help with it. 

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Is God asking you to do something radical, but you're scared or feel unworthy?  God absolutely loves for the broken, messed up, uneducated and needy to be lifted up to give Him glory. 

I Corinthians 1:26-31Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. I don't see many of "the brightest and the best" among you, not many influential, not many from high-society families. Isn't it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these "nobodies" to expose the hollow pretensions of the "somebodies"? That makes it quite clear that none of you can get by with blowing your own horn before God. Everything that we have—right thinking and right living, a clean slate and a fresh start—comes from God by way of Jesus Christ. That's why we have the saying, "If you're going to blow a horn, blow a trumpet for God."

                                                     

Well, I'm about to tell you a factual story that has transpired in the last 6 hours.  The songwriter's conference starts today.  As I told you my plane ticket didn't happen.  I have prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed and asked others to pray and pray and pray.  To pray if God wanted me to go, it would happen.  I had prayed that if my Dad had a ticket, he'd call me.  He never did.  Ticket prices are outrageous.  Everybody said I should just call my Dad.  I said no because I felt like I was manipulating my prayer, and I didn't want to do that.  I woke up this morning and momentarily had a sinking feeling.  But I felt God say "Get up, and get your stuff ready.  If you believer you're going, why aren't you ready to go?"  So that's what I did.  Nothing happened.  I prayed, read my Bible, watched Christian TV.  I also read a Beth Moore Bible devotion given to me yesterday by Betty Welch it said "God will give us victory, but sometimes he will require every ounce of energy and cooperation we have in the process." I prayed and continued to say "God if this isn't Your will, keep this door shut."  My mom came over at lunch and wanted to know why I was "fixed up".  Where was I going?  I said "Well, I'm still hoping in some way I can go to St. Louis."  She looked at me sort of like I was crazy, and said "Now when does this start?"  "Today"  When she left, I felt a strong sense to call my Daddy.  I didn't feel like I was manipulating, I honestly felt like God was telling me to do it, and I was cooperating just like my devotion.  I called him and asked him if he had any free tickets.  He chuckled and said that those take 6 weeks, he would've helped me if he'd know in advance.  He tells me to see if I can find something cheap and he'll help me out.  I call the airlines and ask them to help me find the cheapest flight.  $1000.00.  That's right $1000.00.  I said "Can I ask you a question?  How long do you have to book frequent flyer miles in advance?  6 weeks?"  "No.  2 hrs  Would you like to make a reservation?"  I told her the situation, and asked her if I could make the reservation, and could my Dad call back with the miles to pay for it.  She said yes he could.  They had 2 flights that would be free, 1 at 2:15 today, and 1 at 8:00 am in the morning.  I knew I couldn't make the 2:15, and told her 8:00 in the morning.  I called my Daddy, and he said YES!  I called the people over the workshop and said "You said I could let you know at the last minute.  I'm letting ya know.  Is it ok?"  YES again!  I then called Mark first to scream in his ear.  He is happy for me, and knows this is a God-thing.  I then call everyone I can think of to scream in their ear.  I have to be at the airport early tomorrow and I haven't worked that out, but God will.  I just want to brag on God, and give Him the credit and honor and glory.  I am not the cause of any good thing, it's all Him.

 Psalm 126: 4-6 And now, God, do it again—
      bring rains to our drought-stricken lives
   So those who planted their crops in despair
      will shout hurrahs at the harvest,
   So those who went off with heavy hearts
      will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing

I was recently inspired by a person who was extrmely forthcoming in a public way about  a very private matter.  The reason this person did this was with the hope he would inspire and influence people who may have the same struggle and problem.  Even though I don't have that same struggle, it inspired me that sometimes when we're honest about our "hang-ups", it let's people around us know they're not alone in struggling.  So as per my usual habit, I'm going to over-share, but it's with purpose and hope that someone who reads this will be inspired.

Since going through everything I have in this past 5 weeks, I've had the opportunity to examine myself closer than I ever have.  I've always prayed that Mark and I would have the best marriage possible.  But, at times it's been far from that (just like everybody else).  We've been through alot, and kids and money are probably the two biggest stresses for any marriage.  I'm one of the most needy and insecure people that you will ever meet.  I have had a very low self image.  When I first returned from my second hospital stay and asked God to perform a miracle in my body, He said "How can I when you don't truly believe that I love you and accept you?  I want you to believe that I totally and completely love you and accept you right now that way you are, before anything will change for you."  In that moment, I got it.  I think for the first time ever maybe.  I have said this before, but I've always wanted constant affirmation from Mark.  I've prayed that we would be best friends, and each other's #1.  The stresses and schedule of life at times have choked out any possible time for each other, and our financial situation has kept us from even being able to have 1 night in a hotel for our 10 yr. anniversary, and I'll confess, I was devestated.  I have prayed regularly for God to change our circumstance.  To change us into the couple that He desires us to be.  For Him to have His perfect will in our life.  In my prayer time last week, God spoke to me very very clearly.  He said "Gina, I won't listen to you prayer, and your past marriage prayers have been unheard, and powerless, becuase of YOU.   You pray for Me to bless your enemies, you forgive a Dr. who hurt you, you make a very good practice of forgiving, but you do not practice forgiveness for the person that you claim you want to be closest to next to Me."  He was right, and it all was put before me at that moment.  I had stored up any offense that I felt Mark had ever committed for my ammunition against him.  I would pull out the necessary bullet size appropriate to defeat any issue that ever came up so that I could be the winner.  I felt ashamed as I understood that I needed to completely change.  I realized that this meant forgiving not only times I'd been asked for, but also those times that I hadn't been.  Times when my feelings were hurt, and when I wasn't understood.  Times when we were unable to go on vacation, or do what the world says are a necessary part of a happy life.  Forgive the things that weren't Mark's fault, but because I wanted to blame somebody other than myself, I blamed him.  For this revelation, it comforts me to know that at least 1 purpose of my physical affliction, has been for my spiritual healing in this matter and I'm thankful.  Am I completely better, and  will this never happen again?  I'm choosing to live 1 day at a time.    But, you all are my new accountability partners in this!!

Matthew 18:21-22At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?"  22Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven

Do you practice forgiving your brother or sister who've offended or wronged you 490 times.  What I want you to realize today is that this "forgiveness thing" is a big deal.  It covers many different areas.  It ranges from a person who hates you, all the way to the people who love you.  It covers it all.  I want out of all bondage that I have control over, and you do too (whether you know it or not).  Ask God to show you today if you've got some unforgiveness that needs to be dealt with.  It will change everything.

God,

I pray for my reader today.  Lord when we are hurt or offended, we feel angry.  Help us in that moment to always remember that You never ever ask us to do anything that you haven't already done and experienced.  Strenthen us in this truth.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Luke 23:34Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Good Year Blimp

You might get tired of this, but I have to start out again with saying I praise God for today, and yesterday.  I really, really felt good yesterday.  I watched Christian TV, and then laid off TV pretty much for the remainder of the day.  I prayed yesterday that I would be healed, and feel that way.  I literally got on my knees, as I read the story of the woman with issue of blood who said "If I can just touch His garment I will be healed."  My prayer was "God, I want to touch your spiritual garment.  Because Lord your Word says that you're at my right hand, and at the right hand of the Father."Psalm 16:8 I have set the LORD always before me.Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.Psalm 45:4 In your majesty ride forth victoriously in behalf of truth, humility and righteousness; let your right hand display awesome deeds."  And as I prayed I literally took my hand and rubbed His spiritual garment.  Glad there was nobody home, or they would've thought I was crazy.  I hung up about 500 things laying in my closet floor.  I also cooked our family some form of dinner.  (It wasn't good, but that's beside the point)  I realized as I was cooking,  I didn't have ANY sensation of the stent being in place.  I had totally forgotten.  I was in momentary awe.  Because I had forgotten to take the bladder med that I take every 8 hours, because I was feeling so good.  It's just like the song Alabaster Box.  You can't even understand exactly, you just have to choose to (or not to) take my word for it.  I went to church last night, and again was glad I did.  Amanda finished up her teaching for me.  She taught on James 4 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=James%204:1-10;&version=65; and it was very good teaching on "getting serious." On my drive to church I saw the Good Year Blimp.  I remembered various times in my life when I've seen it, or someone who was with my would see it and declare, "Look!  The Good Year Blimp!"  As I looked at it I realized that I had no idea what the purpose of the Good Year Blimp was.  Does it drop down Good Year Blimp fairy dust?  Is the driver just blowing kisses down that we can't see?  Is it an "undercover FBI" tool?  I thought "What does this thing do?"

Is that how your Christian life is?  You're just present, but without purpose.  I think churches are full of Good Year Blimps today.  People who offer a big and beautiful showing that's full of hot air.  They're outspoken, but yet say nothing of meaning.   Oh that we can realize God is so much more concerned with our inside than our outside.  God desires more for you than existence.  Be bold today.  Ask God to show you what He wants for your life.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=23fc8cb33e04f4d05132

Roger preached Sunday on the healing of the crippled man who had to be lowered through the roof by 4 friends so that he could reach Jesus.  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=mark%202:%201-12;&version=65;  You may be like me.  In the past I've thought "Aw.  How sweet.  What a nice story." But Roger taught it for what it really was.  Four friends who were determined to get this man to Jesus.  Men who were willing to take extreme measures.  Without those men, maybe that man wouldn't have received forgiveness and healing.  Roger taught on this to inspire our church for our upcoming friend day.  He specifically said that the ultimate goal is to bring lost people to church.  He knows the tendancy of many is to just get a saved friend to come with that person to church so the attendance will be high. I read something this morning in Proverbs that really spoke to me about how we are to "win" a person to the Lord.

 Proverbs 9:7-12

If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you'll get slapped in the face;
   confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins.
So don't waste your time on a scoffer;
   all you'll get for your pains is abuse.
But if you correct those who care about life,
   that's different—they'll love you for it!
Save your breath for the wise—they'll be wiser for it;
   tell good people what you know—they'll profit from it.
Skilled living gets its start in the Fear-of-God,
   insight into life from knowing a Holy God.
It's through me, Lady Wisdom, that your life deepens,
   and the years of your life ripen.
Live wisely and wisdom will permeate your life;
   mock life and life will mock you.

The problem with many Christ followers is they are trying to reason with cynics and confronting the bad behavior, and wasting their time on a scoffer before they care about life.  This scripture says don't waste your time.  Roger's "reach 'em, teach 'em, grow 'em, send 'em" catch phrase is correct.  The first thing is reach 'em.  It's not our job to clean a person up, it's God's and their's.  But, if we criticize these people before they even are "reached" and before they care about life, then we're doing more harm than good.

So I hope that the people who (God willing) are brought in on friend day, the people that may look dirty, or smell bad, or maybe they don't know yet that you can't talk during church, or other un-churchy behaviors that they might display, will be looked beyond until they care about life.  That's the first goal, is they understand the gift of God and receive it.

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Yesterday had ups and downs.  But mostly ups.  Somewhere in the afternoon I started feeling bad, and I prayed that God would help me to feel better, and within no time I did.  I was able to take Chloe to ballet last night.  (Even though I didn't have on any make-up!)  It felt really good to be able to even to take that 1 thing off of Mark.  This morning Mark had to call and wake me up, and that truly was a miracle.  I've been waking up usually when he does, and sleeping pretty light.  But, I felt like I was really in a deep sleep last night, and it was great!  I know this because when I woke up to go to the bathroom I ran into the door.  But hey, that's good!  I thought I could get a dirt cheap plane ticket for the songwriting seminar, but that has fallen through.  I'm not totally giving up that God wants me to go next week, but I am at total peace if it truns out He doesn't.  Only He could give me this kind of peace.

I experienced corporate worship yesterday for the first time in 4 weeks, and it was amazing.  I was thankful to God every moment I was there, and probably for the first time in I don't know when, I realized I am blessed to have the  opportunity to attend church.  It's an old saying but a true one, "You don't know what ya got, 'til it's gone."  I'm thanking God for things that I never thought twice about before a month or so ago.  Most people knew what had happened to me and what I'm going through, a few didn't, and there were people still wanting to "defend" me against my Dr.  But like I said before, I'm hurt, so they're hurt for me, and I understand.  But it was so good to see the people that had seen me a few days before and knew what  miracle it was that I was there.  I told my class that we will make plans as a class, and not take the "wait and see" attitude about my health.  Amanda Cole has been teaching for me on Sun. night, and she asked me if I was going to be there last night.  I told her I wasn't sure, but I would try.  But, in the afternoon I realized I had a choice to play the victim or to play the victorious and I chose the latter.  I'm so glad I went, because Amanda taught on David and Jonathan, and what it means to be a true friend.  It was a good lesson, and I was convicted of selfisheness. 

I Samuel 20:11-17 "Come outside," said Jonathan. "Let's go to the field." When the two of them were out in the field, Jonathan said, "As God, the God of Israel, is my witness, by this time tomorrow I'll get it out of my father how he feels about you. Then I'll let you know what I learn. May God do his worst to me if I let you down! If my father still intends to kill you, I'll tell you and get you out of here in one piece. And God be with you as he's been with my father! If I make it through this alive, continue to be my covenant friend. And if I die, keep the covenant friendship with my family—forever. And when God finally rids the earth of David's enemies, stay loyal to Jonathan!" Jonathan repeated his pledge of love and friendship for David. He loved David more than his own soul

To be that kind of friend!  To have the kind of friend!  What an example.

After church we had a fellowship time for the deacon ordination, and I wanted to stay.  Chloe has had a cough, and stuffy nose, but she said she felt like staying.  I ate normal food, and it was good, but the stent bothered me a good bit last night, and I knew what that meant. So I started the day with peaches and prunes.  UGH!   

 

Spiritual Nutrition  WorshipPrayer TimeBible Study

Serving Size – Body full , Mind  full and Spirit full   Amount per Serving 1 day   *Percent Daily Values are based on a godly Christ centered, Spirit filled calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your spiritual maturity level.

 

You know I'm really not fond of prunes.  Are you??  I didn't think so.  But they are beneficial to me.  I feel better when I eat them.  But, I wait until I absolutely have to eat them before I'll do it.  Which makes the first bite awkward and taste bad.  Instead of eating them daily to train myself to enjoy them and like them, I do it the hard way and it never tastes good.   

---

Is your relationship with Christ this way??  Are you "eating" your proper daily requirements for spiritual nourishment?  Or do you wait until your forced to take a bite, and it always tastes bitter because your not used to it?

Did you know that studies show a well-balanced spiritual diet has been proven to improve the quality of your life, and greatly reduces your risk of fear, failure and sin? 

Don't wait until you're on your spiritual "death bed" to get it!  Don't wait until you're forced to eat spiritual food to train you spiritual pallet.  There's no time like the present. Get serious about your walk with God today!

 

 

 

I have to start of this blog by saying GOD IS GOOD.  I feel very very good today, and I give 100% of the credit to Him.  Mon. thru Wed. I felt ok, and at times not even ok.  Yesterday I felt pretty good, but I was so weak.  But, today I feel great compared to  how I have felt.  I came to the realization a few nights ago, that the emptier my belly is, the less the stent bothers me.  So (I know most of you can't believe I'm doing this) I'm trying to eat mostly fruit, with very light meals.  My coffee consumption is up to about 4 cups in the morning.  Quite a change from the 16+ cups per day I drank this time a month ago. 

I'm trying to really cut back or secular TV when I'm home alone.  Two weeks ago I sat with romote in hand.  Click, click, click, click.  I realize now that it's depressing.  So, I watch anything Christian I can find, and then try not to watch hours and hours of purposeless (is that a word?) junk.  2 Timothy 2:16 Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly  

I have had and am still having people call me to tell me they're praying for me, and believing with, along with people telling me negative things about my Dr..  I'm trying to explain to them the principle of forgiveness.  As in how can I not forgive, and expect God to forgive me.  22-25Jesus was matter-of-fact: "Embrace this God-life. Really embrace it, and nothing will be too much for you. This mountain, for instance: Just say, 'Go jump in the lake'—no shuffling or shilly-shallying—and it's as good as done. That's why I urge you to pray for absolutely everything, ranging from small to large. Include everything as you embrace this God-life, and you'll get God's everything. And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it's not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive—only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins."   Do you see that last part???  I have to do this. I want my mountain to move, but it ain't goin' nowhere if I don't forgive.  But, I don't want to sound like I don't appreciate the thougt behind their anger.  I've been hurt, and they are hurting for me, and I'm grateful that people care.  Please don't think I'm not grateful. 

Both of my Dr.s have said that I can go to the songwriting semiar in 2 weeks, if I feel ok, and there's no real physical activity goin' on.  So, I've placed it completely in God's hands.  I've prayed if He wants me to go, I'll go.  If he doen't want me to go, I won't go. 

Please continue to pray for my family.  Mark is wearing every hat in our family, and it is wearing him out.  I've felt so helpless , but I know The One who offers the real help.  I want to be there for him and the kids, and I'm not, and that's been hard.  But, I'm praying for them constantly, and trusting God to fill in the gaps. 

I haven't lost hope in modern medicine, but I now have greater hope and understanding that every moment of my life is in God's hands.  I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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