Gigi's Blog

Last Saturday we had a yard sale. We had it at Holly and Rich’s. We’ve done these for years literally. This one was very last minute. Last week Chloe had dance on Mon. Tues. and Thurs. we had church Wed. By Friday it was time to prepare, and I didn’t. Mark did everything. Literally. He’d bring something in and I’d say either “yes” or “I didn’t want to sell it.” I was exhausted. To the point I didn’t offer anything to help Friday.

Yard sales are really fun though if you like to people watch and cut up with people. Richard really does and that makes it very entertaining. He and Holly were selling some China that was very valuable. Ya know that stuff that’s “per place setting” prices. Well, someone came up to Rich and enquired about the price. “$4.00” Rich said. “Well, will you take $3.00?” “Well, no. But I will take $5.00.” Someone asked me about the pricing for something and I said “.25.” They walked away. I’m sorry. You can’t go much cheaper than a .25. After it was all said and done Mark was going to take everything that was left to Good Will. Rich told him he didn’t need to do that. He assured him that if he’d just put it on the side of the road, people would come and just pick it up. Sure enough a few minutes later a man pulled up on a moped strapped down with stuff and starts strapping what he could to himself. As much as he could get. Then he drove off. We had a lot of stuff left, but I guess it all got gone.

Between the two families we made at most a couple hundred, and I doubt even that much. There was probably literally several thousand dollars worth of stuff. (when it was purchased) But no one cared. No one cared how excited Holly was when she bought a cute dress when Rebekah was little. Or that American flag party platter I had. Or all the other things that were so special to us, but to another person meant nothing.

This week has been kind of rough. I’ve heard heartbreaking stories of infidelity. Families broken. People hurting. International chaos. I know people personally who are very sick. People have extreme hatred for one another. My dad has lost his job, and so have many other people I know. Our countries finances are in big trouble. Oh, and on top of all of that-Mark got head butted at church playing basketball Monday night. He was playing ball just to relieve stress after he’d found out we need a new coil for our air conditioner. He’s seeing double. Cat scan said nothing broken. But he can’t feel part of his nose, and he’s still seeing double.

I know many people, including myself in serious need of a renewed sense of hope. I praise God that He tells me where to get it-from Him and it’s more obvious to me than it has ever been. The houses built on shifting sand are shifting and collapsing before people’s eyes leaving them utterly shocked and very scared. The people who’ve built their house on the rock, their house is standing. People get confused by what the house is-the house isn’t possessions and things-the house is US.

At our yard sale we knew how valuable all those items were, but we could barely give them away. We couldn’t believe it. People need to know the gift of Jesus. I don’t mean know, I mean KNOW. With every bit of who we are. That we could never afford the lavishness of his generous priceless love, but we can have it. How will they know? Maybe if we would’ve presented our yard sale treasures as just that, they would’ve sold better. But just pilin’ ‘em on a table and saying “buy it if ya want” maybe that wasn’t the best sales pitch. The world is full of evil and problems and struggles for Christians and non-Christians. So, as these people look at this “Jesus” we claim as our Savior, but they still see us with problems, what would make them want Him? The knowing what will happen one day and who we are in Him. The peace that they don’t have. The joy that can’t be bought, and can’t be taken. It’s so backwards. This gift cost us nothing, but it worth more than anything.

See that today, so that they can see that today.

Psalm 9:18 (New International Version)

18 But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.

Last week has had ups and lots of downs. I know everyone loves a depressing blog. Just joking.

Monday was good. We went to my Aunt Pat’s and when we left, Rachel and Rebekah came home with us. I had told Holly we’d bring ‘em home, but they most certainly could come over and get them and hang out for a bit. Well, they said I could just bring ‘em home. I didn’t mind. I decided to try and clean my disgustingly dirty kitchen floor. I start scrubbing to no avail. Somewhere in the middle of it, Holly tells me they will come over. I finish trying to clean the floor and Mark dries it just as they arrived. It was Holly and Rich’s anniversary and Holly’s birthday week, so I decided me and Holly would go to the grocery store and I’d get something to fix for them. I bought some stuff for Tx. Caviar (her favorite) and some hamburger meat so I could try out my slider maker that Chloe got me for mother’s day. We came home. Hung out ‘till 10:30. Had a blast.
Tuesday I got up and ready for the blessings ahead, so I thought.

I get ready to go, “kids, do you see my keys?” “No.” I pretty much instantly knew they were in Holly’s car. I call her, they aren’t.(Turns out in the afternoon, they were) I call my neighbor and ask her to take the kids to school and Mark comes home to give me his keys. That night was dance recital pictures. I had to get Chloe’s tights. I called the place we get them, $40.00. Wasn’t prepared for that, so I try to find a cheaper place. I spend my entire lunch hour getting them at the cheaper place. At 3:00 Chloe calls me and I tell her I have her tights and will be home just in time to get her ready. She makes sure I have the right kind. I don’t. I then leave work to go and get the right kind, at the original expensive store and go home. We get the pictures made. It takes a llloonnnggg time. Very loud. There’s a terrible storm. Mark calls my cell and tells me the power is out. We get home, and it is. We just sit there. Chloe falls asleep after we eat something Mark had prepared before the power went out. Mark is sort of in and out of sleep. I’m in a bad mood. I’m tired. My head hurt and all I wanted to do was to unwind-with power. At some point I say to Mark “at 8;30 we need to make decisions.” “What decisions?” “What!! You mean to tell me you don’t know what decisions. Just forget it!!” That conversation ended at that time. (What I meant was if we should leave) I was livid. How could this be happening??? Mark goes upstairs and goes to bed and Chloe and I stay downstairs, ‘cause I was afraid that she’d be afraid of the dark. Somewhere around 11 something, she starts crying in her sleep. Then she sits up…..things are about to get worse. She cries. “What’s wrong Chloe?” “My throat.” Crying ensues. I get an ibuprofen. We got upstairs and get in Meagan’s bed ‘cause she wasn’t gonna stay home with no power. At 12 something the power comes back on. At 1:00 more crying “what’s wrong Chloe?” “My stomach.” I get her Maalox and she lays back down. I don’t think either one of us slept more than an hour or two the entire night. The next day she said she could make it to go to school. By the time Mark picked her up. She was crying. Big time. I call the Dr. Mark takes her. No strep. Something I can’t pronounce. Give her her Claritin” he said. By that night she was really crying. She did sleep that night. The next day she wanted to go to school, but I didn’t think she could. Mark left to come home, and then after an ibuprofen in her and getting up she said she wanted to go to school. Mark went back to work. Then we get ready to leave. “Kids do you see the key?” “No.” I wait and look. I still only had Mark’s key. I dread calling him and telling him I’ve done it again. So I keep looking. I finally must call. “You didn’t take your key did you?” “Well ya.” “I don’t have my keys back yet.” Mark comes home, and Meagan takes Chloe to school. Thurs. night things seemed to be better until out of nowhere Chloe really starts crying with her ear. I snap at Mark about which medications are best. I give her something. We go to bed. I’m exhausted. Friday morning Chloe is stuffy and slightly whiny about her ear, but not to bad. I asked her something, and she said something about the spelling bee winner was announced at 1:30 am. “What were you doing up then?” “Daddy gave me medicine.” I didn’t even hear her. Turns out Mark was up with her 1 1/2 hr. We went to Holly’s Friday evening, she said she felt good. Get home, cries with her throat. Saturday she looked like she felt bad, but she did ok and we just stayed home. But her eye was starting to get red, and by Sunday really red. She went to school today. I honestly didn’t think they’d let her stay. Have you ever seen a kid that wanted to go to school? Well, she does. I called her a few minutes ago. She sounds really bad, but says “I’m fine.” She wants to go to dance. So if she’s ok, she’ll go.

See I read some Psalms on Tuesday morning that left me feeling so “in the spiritual zone.” I was so ready. Until life hit me head on. I fell apart. What I realized or remembered was Satan knows the thing(s) that really unravel me. He knows the things that cause you to feel like you’ll lose your mind. Those are the very things that he sits begging to do to us. Some people fall apart if their kids are in turmoil. Some people fall apart if they feel unloved. Some people fall apart if their plans change. Some people fall apart if an appliance breaks. Some people fall apart if their fingernail breaks. It doesn’t matter, Satan knows the exact thing in your day that has the potential to destroy your outlook, and tempt you to retract spiritually in the form of anger, fear, frustration and possibly sin. Please notice I said has the potential to cause all this. He doesn’t cause it to happen, our actions choices and decision do. Bottom line. I lost last week. Satan won. I let him. I refused to see everything for what it was.

Luke 22:31 31"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you[a] as wheat. 32But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

"Your Name, My Name, Satan has asked to sift you[a] as wheat. 32But I have prayed for you, ________________ that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

Adam came home Friday. Just for the weekend. He’s staying at Chapel Hill again this summer. But, it was good to see him for at least a few days!
Meagan went to the prom Saturday night. Yes, Meagan has graduated but she went with Oscar Trejo, a senior our youth group (Focus). She borrowed a dress, and Holly and Megan did her hair makeup. Thank you ladies. Meagan is so funny. When she stresses, there is really no comforting her. Then when it’s all over, she’s as cool as a cucumber. She reminds me of someone else I know. (me) Chloe spent Saturday hanging out with Nanny. I didn’t do anything constructive on Saturday, ‘cause I was sort of running around, but after everyone left Mark suggested we eat. The only problem was I was very uncomfortable. I wanted to dress to match Oscar and Meagan’s color scheme for pictures. See my pants were too little, they had shrunk obviously!! And I had on lil’ heels, which I NEVER wear. My back was acting up, which horrified me when I realized that I might fall. So, initially the thoughts of going in somewhere to eat sounded less than desirable, but I quickly got over it and we went to a fish camp. For those of you who don’t live in NC, fish camps are very popular here. Mark and I had a nice dinner. I was able to talk to a lady who works there. Come to think of it, two ladies who work there. One lady’s daughter is in my class at church, but the mother doesn’t come anymore. Another lady’s autistic son used to be in the youth group, and she never came, only sent him. She told me that he’s having some health problems, and we talked about church and I told her I’d pray. The other lady-I bragged on her how awesome I think her daughter is. So, in the end, it most definitely a good thing that we went.

Sunday at church, Roger continued preaching on Daniel. The sermon title was “Can One Person Make a Difference?” http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=daniel
Daniel agreed to some of the things that the king had ordered, but when he was instructed to eat the food he refused. I think it’s so significant that when it was something that was going to literally enter him he said “No.” As Christians we are misled into thinking that going with the flow makes us somehow makes us more desirable. If you’ve known me for very long, you know that I really have problems with legalistic thinking, so please know I’m not talking about spiritual arrogance. I DETEST that. Think about the way Daniel handled it, he begged that he would be allowed to do what God wanted and felt confident that righteousness would be shown. He didn’t say “sinners, going to Hell, I WILL NOT eat this, and you better not either!” It’s hard, very hard, but I believe that when we do what we are supposed to do and live it in front of people, sometimes that speaks and does more in a person’s live that our words. There are certain people within the body of Christ, such as pastors who do give guidance and instruction, he’s supposed to. But not every person is called to do that, and I firmly believe that there are far more people who aren’t called to judge than are doing it. I know I reference it often but James 3:1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. Sorry, that was sort of a soap box moment. Anyway, Daniel did make a difference, and you and I can too.

I am experiencing this in my own life. I say experiencing because I’m still learning. Sometimes I fail, but I try to start over. See the ways that God has chosen for me to impact peoples lives, wasn’t part of my plan or what I wanted. But, as I let go of my grip I can see that as I soften myself to say “whatever You want” and actually mean it, things happen. For example, I’ve really wanted to become friends with lots of people at work, and at church and we are and have been, but I mean closer. I wanted them to consider me a blessing in their lives. But I just wanted them to feel that way. I didn’t want to do anything to inconvenience me. But as I truly allowed God to instruct me, and the few times I’ve actually followed I’ve seen Him do something. Not me, Him. So as that spills over into lives and then keeps on producing fruit, something that’s as good as dead, suddenly blooms with new life and new hope.

I really didn’t want to go to that fish camp Saturday. I wanted to get something to go, and then go home and put on sweat pants so that I could both breathe and eat. But, it just may be that one or both of those ladies may at some point in their lives think about something we discussed.

Today you may feel like there’s no point in doing anything, or maybe in doing anything else. But somehow God has His perfect way of supernaturally doing anything that He wants to happen. Please don’t give up. You may make that difference today. How many what ifs do you think people play over in their minds as they have to face the fact that they could have made a difference? That doesn’t have to happen today. Not this time.

This weekend the ladies from the UNBOUND ministry team had an overnight retreat at Ridgecrest.  Ridgecrest is the hidden little diamond in the NC Mountains.  It’s very inexpensive, secluded, and beautiful.  Oh, and I forgot the best part-black bears live there.  Ya, we’d had an incredible first few hours there.  Holly led an absolutely God inspired retreat, and in sort of the middle of one of them, I think we were all having an emotional unplanned cleansing sorts.  In the midst of an ocean of tears we hear something, and all just freeze “what was that?”  The ever so brave Megan B. says “I’m not scared, I’ll go see.”  And see she did-a bear.  We all screamed and then went to lock the door and discovered there was no lock.  We would surely be eaten alive.  We called security and they quickly came. “There’s a bear at the back door.”  “I know.  There’s a momma and her 2 cubs.”  As in “Ya, big deal, we know that.”  If you’ll read my blog from October you’ll see last time we were there we had received noticed that said “Bear Alert” and we had this time, I just didn’t expect to really see one.  He then showed us how to lock the back door (duh) and left.  The weekend was incredible.  I’ve heard Beth Moore say before the blessing of having friends you can bare (no pun intended) your soul to.  Thank you ladies.  You were that for me this weekend. 

 

Sunday was mother’s day.  I felt sick a bit on Friday, and felt bad and tired by Saturday night.  But, I had a wonderful day.  I got 2 mugs, and my facial cleanser and loads of coffee and a mini burger maker.  We went to Mark’s mom after church to celebrate and ate burgers and all kinds of yumminess.  Then we met my mom at Cracker Barrel.  You don’t understand how much I love pinto beans with corn relish and onions. MMMMMMM.

 

We were nearing the end of our meal and my mom, almost as an afterthought sort of thing said to our waitress, “You’ve been a very good waitress.”  I can promise you with everything in me my mom just made that statement as a pleasantry sort of thing.  I mean it was true, and my mom wanted her to know it, but we had no idea………………..

“You don’t know how much I needed to hear that” her eyes filled with tears.  I had a party of 15 and there was an order mix-up.  Me and the other waitress tried really hard to serve them, and they acted like things were fine.  They left us a $2.00 tip.  Then the mgr. told me that he’d just been chewed out because of me.  I’ve been here since 2:00 (it was 7:30) and I’ve made $12.00” Wow!! None of us saw that coming.  We tried to our best to comfort her, and I told her I would pray for her, and my mom gave her $20.00  Those few lil’ words “you’ve been a good waitress”  unleashed a flood of things that we didn’t expect. 

 

I’ve dealt with it the other way as well, and I’m sure you have to.  I’ve been emotionally wounded by hurtful words, and I’ve emotionally hurt other people with my words. 

 

Is there something you should say to someone today?? Please say it.  You don’t know what it might do for them. 

 

Is there something you want to say but shouldn’t??  Please don’t say it.  You may cause them more harm then you every imagined.

 

Proverbs 18:21 21Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof

 

James 3

Taming the Tongue

 ¹Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. ²We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

 ³When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

 ⁷All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, ⁸but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

 ⁹With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. ¹⁰Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. ¹¹Can both fresh water and salt^[a] water flow from the same spring? ¹²My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

 

We had a good weekend. 

On Friday we did nothing. On Saturday Mark went and coached softball for the you, I slept late.  When Mark suggested we take advantage of our Carowinds season pass (given by Nanny) to go that afternoon, I was all for it.  Chloe has already been one time and she was very excited to be going back.  She was very excited for us to ride Cobra.   The lines were really short, which was an added bonus.  The temperature was perfect too.  When you get old like me, little things like that become much more noticeable. 

 

We got to Cobra.  As we stood in line we heard over and over again “If you do any obscene gestures while the camera is taking your picture, the police will escort you out of the park immediately.  We got on and a very steep incline holds you by a cable suspended until you almost have a heart attack.  Then it releases you, you do two double flips, go up a hill, and then do the same thing backwards.  It is beyond my imagination how anyone would be cognitive enough to do anything during the picture taking on the ride than hold on to the bars and scream. 

 

You know that guy let us know, if you do this…………………….then you’re outta here.  I’m not insensitive to the enormous pressures that Christians are under today.  I am one!  I realize that most of us don’t feel like we can here an audible voice from God of completely clear instructions sometimes.  At least I don’t.  It’s a discipline to spend time asking him, listening for His answer, through whatever way He chooses to reveal it.  We know to pray and read out Bible.  Yet, (at least for me) I struggle at times to do this.  We know to forgive, and that when we don’t a wall goes up. Yet, (at least for me) I struggle at times to do this. 

 

I am on a new quest to find God’s desires and will for my life.  It required patience, humility, obedience and a lot of other things, that I lack in.  But for me I am realizing that anything other than what He wants me to do won’t work

 

Ask God for What You Need

    ⁷ "Ask, and God will give to you. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will open for you. ⁸ Yes, everyone who asks will receive. Everyone who searches will find. And everyone who knocks will have the door opened.

    ⁹ "If your children ask for bread, which of you would give them a stone? ¹⁰ Or if your children ask for a fish, would you give them a snake? ¹¹ Even though you are bad, you know how to give good gifts to your children. How much more your heavenly Father will give good things to those who ask him!

But what we must understand is this: Our greatest need is Him.  End of story.  “Till we get that, nothing else will be right.

Last night Mark was trying to get a head-start on all the yards he cuts each week.  Chloe and I went to Pizza Hut, because she had a certificate for a free pizza.  On the way home I said “I remember when we came to eat here when our house was being built.  I can’t remember, but I think Aunt Doris came with Katrina.  I don’t think the twins (Katrina’s) were born yet.  I really can’t remember.  But, I just remember we came to eat here.”

“I know.  You already said that part.  And?????”  “And what?”  “What’s the rest of the story?”  “That’s it.”  “What’s the point?”  “I don’t have one.”  By this time I’m annoyed that Chloe realizes I told a pointless story.  I want to retaliate when she tells me one of her pointless stories.  But I love them so. 

 

That’s so Chloe.  “Get to the point.  There must be one.”  She’s so HER.  She’s just approaching that age where she might start trying to be someone other than herself.  The reason??  You.  Them.  Us.  Me.  The outside influences of friends, enemies, lay people, her family, me-we will tell her “you need to act like this person.” or “you should really try to look like this person.” or  “look at so-and-so over there, they’re nicer and more pleasant to be around.”  or “(you fill in the blank)  That’s why last week the theme of her party was princess,  but not the pretend perfect princess, the princess that all girls are crowned as Christ royalty.  I did a lil’ question sheet asking the girls different princess things.  The last question was “Are you a princess?”  One of the girls answered “No.”  Wow.  But that’s sort of what I figured.  We raise a generation of defensive paranoid youth, and then wonder why they act that way. 

 

We are doing a wonderful Chip Ingram study on Wed. night in Vision.  It’s called “Your Divine Design.”  It builds up to your Spiritual gifts.  But, this week was the starting lesson “You are a Masterpiece.”  You know it’s largely the modern day church’s fault that so many don’t believe that.  They’ve basically been told they should loathe themselves and if they act good enough, maybe, just maybe, they’ll be accepted.  Insecurity and low self-esteem are emotional prisons. I know.  I’ve been sentenced to there many times.  I’m my own judge and jury, and I’m not supposed to be. 

 

Do you treat people in a way to help them believe they are God’s masterpiece??  Do you believe that about yourself??  Oh, well that’s the problem.  Deal.

^{Ephesians 2:10} For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Today has the potential to be “one of those days.”  I’m 37 years old and have had a hysterectomy, so I’m not going through puberty.  So, that is not why I have a teenage style breakout on my face.  I have always had problems with my skin.  A few years back I started using a line of products that we can’t really afford, but I used them anyway because I can honestly say it is the only thing that worked. I’ve tried pretty much every product throughout my life that a person can buy for their skin.  In drug stores and dept. stores and for some reason my skin doesn’t really respond to any of it.  Well, I decided a few months back that even though my skin was at an ok place that just wasn’t good enough.  I needed “make-up optional” skin as the commercial boasted.  I went to the store and bought the entire line.  After four weeks of using it, I not only didn’t have “make-up optional skin” I have “make-up unoptional skin.”  I tried something else.  That was several weeks ago and my skin is awful right now.  I decided this morning I will bite the bullet and go back to was I was using before.  I thought “Ok. I’ll focus on my hair and really try to take the attention off my face.  I spent an extra long time straightening it and decided to spray it (which I don’t normally do).  It felt gross. I decided to brush it out to it wouldn’t feel that way.  Guess what??  Now my hair looks as if it’s full of dandruff, when in fact that spray that wasn’t supposed to flake did exactly that. 

 

How dare these companies prey on the vulnerable this way!  I trusted them and their products to do what they said.  I invested my money.  I did my part.  They didn’t follow through on their part.  This is false advertisement.  I feel lied to, because I have been.  I wish I’d never fallen for all this. 

 

You know what?  People feel this way about Christians.  I’m reading a book called Essential Church.  It’s basically giving the practical reasons that young adults drop out of church.  They feel like they’ve been falsely advertised to.  We tell them as children that Jesus loves them so much.  But as they reach the age that grace counts more than ever we tell them His love is conditional.  We tell them to act one way, as they watch us act another.  We smile at church so that everyone will think we have perfect families and get into the car and change clothes spiritually as soon as we’re off the church property.  We beg them to come to church, but turn our backs on them when they fall or if they decide to leave.  We promise them they can make it with the help of God, but they can’t count on us if they need help. 

 

It’s false advertisement.  The problem? The advertisement represents who they believe Christ is.  No wonder so many young people find comfort in bars and parties and gossip and gods. 

 

What’s the purpose of light??  To give a means to see something.  If a mechanic is under the car holding a flashlight so he can the motor of the car to be fixed, does the flashlight suddenly become responsible for fixing the car?  No.  It just provides the light. 

 

We are supposed to be the light of Christ.  To cause a person to see what they need to see. 

I am to shine so people can see Jesus.  So he through the Holy Spirit can do his thing.  But with every false advertisement, I truly believe our lights dim, because God won’t be mocked.  His light isn’t going out, but I believe our lights get dimmer and dimmer to allow people to see him.  I love it when Joyce Myer says that we are not “Holy Ghost Jr.”  I love that.  I can be me.  I can be real.  God is the one who does the changing.  I’m the light, I’m the tool.  He is the One in charge.  Whew.  Thank goodness. 

 

John 9

Spiritual Blindness

 ³⁵Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?"

 ³⁶"Who is he, sir?" the man asked. "Tell me so that I may believe in him."

 ³⁷Jesus said, "You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you."

 ³⁸Then the man said, "Lord, I believe," and he worshiped him.

 ³⁹Jesus said, "For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind."

 ⁴⁰Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, "What? Are we blind too?"

 ⁴¹Jesus said, "If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.

I’ve told you before I have TMJ.  You know, that thing where your jaw pops all the time, and your mouth hurts.  It can be triggered by most activities I participate in on a regular basis-caffeine, stress, sleeping with your face buried in a pillow.  I used to chew gum and eat ice, but now I know better.  Last week it was really bad.  It was Chloe’s birthday.  You know me…………….party overboard.  Decorations that take the time of a 500 guest- list weeding.  Food fit for the culinary tastes of any high end event like this.  Goodie bags and prizes so each child would hopefully remember this party as a favorite of the 100 million they will attend in their life.  I know, I’m kinda dumb.  By Saturday post party, every bone in my body hurt.  My feet throbbed.  Sunday after Sunday school, Mark and I spent the entire day together.  It was our 12^th anniversary.  But before we left I told him I had a dreadful headache, and had for several days.  I’m not sure why we describe certain headaches as being in our backs and necks, because my neck isn’t my head, but that IS how I described it.  I did feel better after some migraine headache stuff.  I started putting two and two together because my jaw and mouth really hurt too.  I figured out it was most likely me grinding and clinching my jaw unconsciously over the days that had led up to Chloe’s party.  You know I really don’t know why in the world I allow myself to do this.  Get so worked up about everything.   New American Standard Bible (©1995)Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. << Philippians 4:6 >>  It’s not just “wow, I shouldn’t do this.”  The Bible says “don’t do this.”  So, I started really massaging and opening my jaw yesterday, looking like a totally goof.  I realized my jaw is really out of line.  So, I go to the best medical advice that I can find-the internet.  I read some stuff and last night I determined that I will no longer sleep in the same position I’ve slept in for the past 37 years.  I’m not going to sleep on my right side on the edge of the bed, with my head buried in a pillow, with the covers pulled over my head ‘cause that (supposedly) may have had something to do with all of this.  I lay in the bed on my left side-uncomfortable but determined.  After a few minutes Chloe walks in our room and stares at Mark and says nothing, which means she’s sleepwalking.  I take her back to her room and make a bathroom trip and head back to bed, turned on my left side.  Lay there, uncomfortable.  My left arm hurt.  My pillow doesn’t feel right.  Afraid if Mark turns over he might elbow me.  Finally…………….I’d had it.  Maybe tomorrow night I can do this, not tonight.  I turn to the right side of my bed, fall quickly asleep, and wake up with a tight jaw and headache.

I had to go to the Dr. yesterday for some blood work.  While there I asked him “What can I do to relieve tension?”  “Well, eat 3 times a day; get plenty of sleep and exercise.”  “Oh, never mind then.  What else ya got?”

“I just don’t know what to do.”  You ever say that.  Boy I do.  And I often have people who say that to me, and even ask me what they should do.

See, I can find answers to my problems if I look.  I can find answers to my spiritual questions and problems if I look.  Bible in Basic English
And you will be searching for me and I will be there, when you have gone after me with all your heart. << Jeremiah 29:13 >>  The first step is finding an answering-looking for one.  Looking through the means you have.  I can’t seem to recall one time that a physician called my home and said “excuse me; I just had a feeling you might be sick.  Let me give you some medical advice.” I had to call him, or make an appt.  God says that when we look for Him we’ll find him.  He’s not playing hide and seek and trying to win against us.  We often times allow our stress to turn into spiritual lethargy.  Been there??  Ya, me too.  Just existing.  Just waiting for our “check in the mail” or “clean bill of health” without as much as getting up, or opening our Bible, or falling on our face before God.  God could do it that way, but thank goodness He doesn’t.  If He did, we would continue in our childish thinking.

“I just can’t stop.  I can’t change.  I’ve been doing it this way too long.” How ‘bout that one??  Ya me too.   For me to do the things I know I need to do, to be at my best, will require painful change. Change that will cause headaches, require discipline, determination and a complete understanding that I must totally depend on God.  I will most likely be misunderstood by some people.  I will be called weak because I haven’t already changed.  I will be called a conformist because I am changing.  I will probably fail more than I succeed for a while.  Earthly odds stacked against me. 

But, it is not impossible.  Most people don’t like change.  They become angry when change is on the horizon.  I mean I have and sometimes I do.  But I am praying for God to change me.  I want change.  Did Jesus change anything??  He changed everything.  He changed the way things had been done.  I believe that is an earthly pattern for our lives.  He constantly faced opposition, and struggle. But unlike us, he continued in joy and hope and determination and love.  Godly confidence.  It’s not only ok to have that kind of confidence, I think it’s necessary.   

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus << Philippians 1:6 >>  The same old same old we’ve always done it this way attitude isn’t working.  God won’t allow it do work, because He never intending our growing to stop until we meet Him face to face.

I know this seems so overwhelming and impossible.  It is.  Alone that is. But you’re not alone and I’m not either.  God wants us to realize the impossibility of true life outside of Him.  Do we??  We will be called rebels and who know what else.  But remember………Jesus was too.

Oh how may "hang-ups" do I have?? To infinity and beyond (as Buzz Lighyear would say).  So, I ache with a true understanding of all this.  I have a real hard time when people act like they really understand, when the really don't.   But Jesus understans better than I do.  He didn't have hang-ups.  But he took on earthly flesh so he could understand why we fall prey and give in.  He took on sin at the cross and so he understands that guilt and shame that Satan throws at us.  He hung on the cross to experience the feeling of complete aloneness when He said "Father, why have you forsaken me?"  He understood unanswered prayer when he said "If it's possible, let this pass."  None of this was coincidence.  It was so that he would understand and because he is our lawyer up in heaven against the accuser of the brethern himself.  Isn't the best way to learn by doing?  It is for me.  It was for Jesus. He experienced every feeling that you have every felt or will ever feel.  Every hurt.  Every hope.  Every prayer.  Every need.  Every pain.  We are not alone.  

 

Dear Famous One,

We call out to you today.  We bow before you and ask that with your gentle kind hands you will change us and continue the work you have started.  We know that every word you have spoken is for us.  We pray that we will be strengthened or softened or formed or broken or whatever you know is best as you do your work in us.  

We praise You.  We love You.  We trust You.

Amen 

   

Saturday we went for a long day trip.  To Chapel Hill to hear Adam sing.  We had to pick Meagan up at UNCG.  We wanted to eat with him, so we had to get there early.  We left our house at 12:30 Saturday afternoon, and got home 2:30 Sunday morning.  Not kidding.  But, it was fun, and Adam did a great job. 

 

During our down time in the afternoon we were walking around with Meagan and I remembered she’d told me she has suffered from heartburn for days.  She said she’d taken TUMS, but to no avail.  I told her we’d go in Suttons on Franklin St. and get her something stronger. After she took the medicine, she felt better.

 

I’ve had heartburn before.  Sometimes it feels like you’re having a heart attack. I tell you I’ve heard such opposite things on how to treat it.  The bottom line sometimes is don’t eat junk food-uh that might be a problem.  Cut back on my coffee???   UHHHHH………………..

 

When you have heartburn you want it gone quickly.  You don’t want that feeling.  That’s what our sermon was on yesterday in church.  “Holy heartburn.”  But the point is that we don’t, or Roger was telling us we shouldn’t want to get rid of it.  In fact the problem is most of us don’t have it.  He’s right.  That burning feeling and passion is something that the majority of today’s organized church tells us to quickly take a spiritual Pepto chill pill to soothe and stop any feeling of hotness for God. 

 

Roger said that many people in the church have their heads hung low, dragging from one thing to another, so that their spiritual things-to-do list gets accomplished.  All the while they are complaining, miserable, unhappy. 

 

When we forget The Reason we do things, especially inside the church, that makes God gag. 

 

Yesterday in Sunday School we talked about the day of Pentecost.  Acts 1:4⁴On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about.  What Jesus said was “You may want to leave.  You may have plans that you think are right, but until you hear and receive from the Father-wait.” 

 

We have taken our relationship with God and watered it down to knowing about Him, without knowing Him. We put in the things we like and prefer and assume that God’s on board.   He’s sick of it.  

Amos 5 Time to Face Hard Reality, Not Fantasy

 ^18-20 Woe to all of you who want God's Judgment Day!
   Why would you want to see God, want him to come?
When God comes, it will be bad news before it's good news,
   the worst of times, not the best of times.
Here's what it's like: A man runs from a lion
   right into the jaws of a bear.
A woman goes home after a hard day's work
   and is raped by a neighbor.
At God's coming we face hard reality, not fantasy—
   a black cloud with no silver lining.

 ^21-24"I can't stand your religious meetings.
   I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
   your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,
   your public relations and image making.
I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
   When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
   I want justice—oceans of it.
I want fairness—rivers of it.
   That's what I want. That's all I want.

 ^25-27 "Didn't you, dear family of Israel, worship me faithfully for forty years in the wilderness, bringing the sacrifices and offerings I commanded? How is it you've stooped to dragging gimcrack statues of your so-called rulers around, hauling the cheap images of all your star-gods here and there? Since you like them so much, you can take them with you when I drive you into exile beyond Damascus." God's Message, God-of-the-Angel-Armies.

So if you are tempted today to use something to quench your spiritual burning for God-don’t.  Let God take you today to the place He’s waited a lifetime to show you.  He died for it.  It’s what you want.  Trust me.  No, trust Him.

“I didn’t mean to!”   How many times have you heard your child, spouse or friend say that as you scratched your head and somehow knew that weren’t being honest?? 

 

Intentional.  That’s the word I’ve chosen as my word for 2009.  I’ve realized that living my life without intention has caused what the Bible refers to as a fat heart (Psalm 119: 17a) and I know I need to allow God to do a work in my life in this area.

 

Have you chosen a word for this year??  If you have, please share it with us @ visionministry@hotmail.com or visit or site vision.chapelgrove.com

 

As you share, we’d love to have your fist name, last initial and city and state, and the reason for your choice. 

 

Proverbs 29:18a Where there is no Vision the people perish  

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